Of Government and Cows a light hearted look at governments.
Biblical Capitalism: You have two cows. You take care of them and sell the extra milk.
Feudalism: Your lord lends you two cows. He takes most of the milk and leaves you some.
Pure Socialism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them into a barn with
everyone elses cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government
gives you as much milk as you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone elses cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have
to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers.
The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you
need.
Fascism:
You have two cows. The government takes them both, hires you to take care
of them, and sells you the milk.
Pure Communism:
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you to take care of them, and you all
share the milk.
Russian Communism:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes
all the milk.
Cambodian Communism:
You have two cows. The government takes them both and shoots you.
Dictatorship:
You have two cows. The government takes them both and drafts you.
Pure Democracy:
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
Representative Democracy:
You have two cows. Your neighbors vote for someone to tell you who gets the
milk.
American Democracy:
The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the
election, the President is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press
dubs the affair "Cowgate."
British Democracy:
You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains and they go mad. The government
doesnt do anything.
Bureaucracy:
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them
and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes
both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then
it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Environmentalism:
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
Pure Anarchy:
You have two cows. Your neighbors riot and kill you for trying to sell the
milk.
Libertarian/Anarcho-Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Clintonomics:
You have two cows. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Totalitarianism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.
Counter-Culture: Wow, dude, theres like...
These two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.
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