Never Eat Alone : And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time by
Keith Ferrazzi, Tahl Raz
"How on earth did I get in here? I kept asking myself in those early days as an overwhelmed first-year student at Harvard Business School..." (more)
I'm a naturally shy person and I've always hated the concept of "networking." Everyone I know that practices it in the commonly accepted sense is a complete jerk. This book, however, addresses the true power behind networking; building actual relationships. I would probably give the book 4.5 stars, since too much of it is devoted to name dropping, but this small flaw does not detract from the value of the book. Mr. Ferrazzi takes the approach of building meaningful relationships with others, even when time is short. He doesn't advocate carpet bombing a room with your business cards or hanging out with people you despise as a means of getting ahead. I appreciate the fact that the author came from humble beginnings and was able to reach such heights in the world of business. There are several practical approaches that are discussed in this book that can be of help to both extroverts and the relatively introverted.
While completing my MBA at NYU's Stern School of Business, I accepted a graduate internship with Deloitte Consulting's thought-leadership group, Deloitte Research. The group fell under the leadership of author Keith Ferrazzi who was serving as Deloitte's chief marketing officer. While I had lost touch with Keith over the years (clearly violating one of his central tenants), I have followed his career at Starwood, YaYa, and, eventually, Ferrazzi Greenlight through the media. With a little effort (and luck), I was fortunate enough to obtain an advance copy of his book which I quickly read and have, hopefully, taken to heart.
"Never Eat Alone" is a terrific guide to building and nurturing value-added relationships. The book combines tangible suggestions for improvement with reinforcing and inspirational stories of Keith's own experiences. As a member of Keith's team, I had the opportunity to closely observe his marketing and brand management principles as he applied them to both Deloitte and himself. In fact, on several occasions, Keith had me prepare 1-2 page briefings on many of the people and companies he met with during his time at DC - an activity that is an important part of his relationship building strategy as outlined within his book, "Never Eat Alone." As a result of this experience and having read his book, I recognize the importance and impact of Keith's advice. In several respects, it is much better than many of the highly acclaimed networking and relationship books such as Harvey Mackay's fine "Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty." I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in discovering the power of relationships. Overall rating: "A."
As much as many (competent, but charming challenged) people like to believe it's what you know that counts, it really does turn out that it is who you know that's more important. Many talented and smart people are shy and either avoid situations or overcompensate for it with bravado or worse, arrogance. The bottom line is that shyness can be overcome if you had a way to do it. Ferrazi's book is that way. It makes sense, it feels right and it's doable. I wish I had read this book twenty five years ago, but using it now I am hopeful it can still teach an old dog new tricks. It is something every person graduating from college should read.
I do not buy many books. I only buy the ones that I am interested in keeping. If I only want to read a book, I simply get it in the library.
After reading a few reviews of "Never Eat Alone" I went to my local bookstore to have a closer look at it. Although I definitely liked the look of the book, my first reaction was "No, too expensive". And it is expensive! But then I sat down to read some passages. The more I read, the more interested I was becoming... You know the outcome - I finally DID buy it. I don't think I need to say anything else...
The other books that I have recently bought:
"Can We Live 150 Years" by Mikhail Tombak - this one is so INEXPENSIVE
"Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. This book actually prompted my interest in "Never Eat Alone" as they are both offered by Amazon in one package.
This book is a refreshing view of networking and is filled with innovative techniques that Ferrazzi has proven successful. However, it is much like reading a repair manual. To get the most out of this book I had to employ Ferazzi's excruciating practice of making endless notes and lists to keep my thoughts straight. Iview it as a manual rather than a novel. Either way, its content is sure to pay dividends.
Much of the networking "wisdom" in this book can be found in other books and articles, for example in the works of Harvey MacKay, who is also a great networker (Ferrazzi spells MacKay's name wrong in his attribution). However, what you don't find in those books are up-to-date examples from someone currently hot in the field. Ferrazzi's age and jobs makes him a more relevant role model to today's up-and-comers than does an "old timer" like MacKay. (That was meant in the greatest respect.)
It is good to have another example and reminder of the importance of building relationships. There were some fresh approaches I have not read before, for example the dinner parties, and some approaches that have been around for along time, as Ferrazzi acknowledges, such as Dale Carnegie.
Ferrazzi does toot his own horn, and at times seems full of himself, but, if I had accomplished as much as he has I might sound that way as well if I were writing about it. It is tough to give examples from your own life without dropping some names. So ignore that part.
Some people think that building relationships is manipulative. Well that is hogwash. That can be said about any relationship we have. Guys court girls to get them to like them. You dress nice, you clean up, you send cards, you remember birthdays. Is that manipulative.... sure, but who cares.
Anyway, the advice is sound, follow it and you will improve in your networking ability, in the number of people you know and meet and eventually the number of people you do business with and become friends with.
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Not Your Typical Networking Book, March 6, 2005
