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If you've never truly considered writing a book, take another look
at the rubbish filling bookshelves at airport kiosks. The 'authors'
of that stuff are laughing all the way to the bank. While English
majors and real literary types are screaming at each other in
the stuffy halls of academia or the pages of The New Yorker,
these clowns are quietly rehashing tired plots and making millions
for it. You're a smart person, so we see no reason you shouldn't
take a crack at making bank as well. (Heck, even if you're
a ding-bat, we think you should give it a try. Al Gore's
books sold millions.)
Here's
how you too can tap into the wallets of all those gullible readers
out there. Please note, however, that we can't actually write
the book for you. You may have to do that yourself.
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The
first rule of getting a book published is to avoid writing a book.
Whoa, what the hell are we talking about? Yes, it's very counterintuitive,
but the main goal of anyone who wants to publish a book is to land
a literary agent, before spending years writing something nobody
wants to read. (Of course, if you're reading this SYW because you've
already churned out a work of genius, don't fear; go directly to
2. Prepare a proposal.) Let us explain:
the literary world is a very closed community and the people who
green light publication accept books only through very specific
channels. Think about it: nobody could ever handle reading the mountains
of spew that aspiring authors churn out all the time, so the system
has established filters to weed out most of the garbage. You need
to learn what the filters are and how to get through them. Namely,
agents.
Agents
-- what do they do, exactly?
An
agent is a separate individual who performs much of this filtering
process. You most certainly don't want to send a manuscript directly
to a publishing house. They won't read it. They consider pieces
only if they come recommended by an agent. Agents read manuscripts,
or ideas for manuscripts (known as queries and proposals), and
decide whether a project has promise. If it does, the agent signs
a contract with the author, promising to use best efforts to get
the thing sold to a publishing house, in exchange for around 15%
of the deal. Editors at publishing houses would much rather deal
only with agents who have a good track record for presenting quality
ideas, so agents can be very choosy about who they sign. Landing
an agent, therefore, is the whole idea of the game. Once you have
one of those on your side, she will work incredibly hard to get
your idea sold.
Agents,
in turn, don't particularly like reading 300-page manuscripts
either. In fact, they don't like reading much more than 1 page.
So the first step to getting an agent to even pay attention to
you is to send them a query letter. A query letter is essentially
a short summary of your idea, who you are, and why you are qualified
to write this project.
But
you say, "Wait. I don't wanna give up fifteen percent of
my book-deal-to-be. That stinks." Can you proceed without
an agent? Don't even try. And are they worth the cash? You bet:
85% of zero is nada, and you got nada without an agent there,
Chekhov. Don't worry, though, there are thousands of literary
agents all across America and a few excellent guides that give
you tons of information about what they like to represent and
how to contact them. The very best is the Writer's Guide to
Book Editors, Publishers, and Literary Agents, 1999-2000 : Who
They Are! What They Want! And How to Win Them Over! by Jeff
Herman. But first you need to know what agents want.
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Go
on to Step 2: PREPARE
A PROPOSAL --> |
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