Man Talk

MAN TALK                           ENGLISH EQUIVALENT

You want.                   <===>  I know what you should want.

We need.                    <===>  I want.

It's your decision.         <===>  I'm totally clueless, so you decide and
                                   I'll just take half the credit.

Do what you want.           <===>  I'll just sit on the couch and sulk.

We need to talk.            <===>  I need to complain.

Sure, go ahead.             <===>  I don't want you to, but I'll use this 
                                   the next time we fight to show how 
                                   supportive I am.

I'm hungry.                 <===>  (a) Make me something to eat
                                   (b) Stop what you are doing, scrape 
                                       together your last $$, go drive
                                       to the supermarket, pick up enough 
                                       for my buddies and me, come back,
                                       cook, and oh, while you're up get me
                                       a beer... I don't care if what you
                                       are doing is important.

I'm not upset.              <===>  Of course I'm upset, but only a wuss 
                                   would admit it.

You're,... so feminine.     <===>  Do you do laundry..cook..windows..bake?

I'm feeling romantic        <===>  There's no game on tonight.
tonight.

I'm not emotional!  And     <===>  I'm losing my hair.
I'm not over-reacting!

Be romantic, turn           <===>  Beer gut?  What beer gut...Ohh....uh..
out the lights.

This dining room is         <===>  I can't see the TV from here.
sooooo inconvenient.

The car isn't running       <===>  I want a bigger engine and more knobs
right.                             to play with.

The dishwasher is full.     <===>  I've run out of places to hide the 
                                   dirty dishes.

The remote is broken.       <===>  Come here wherever you are and change the 
                                   channel for me.

My tools are obsolete.      <===>  I can't figure out how to work the old 
                                   ones and the commercial says even a
                                   chimp can use the new ones.

I need new shoes.           <===>  The pair that I've had since high school 
                                   fell apart in the rain last week.

I don't need to ask         <===>  Oh God!  Where the *$^#@! am I?!
for directions, I
know exactly where
we are.  I'm just
taking the scenic route.

Want to snuggle?            <===>  I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?             <===>  I've done something stupid and you might 
                                   find out.

Do you REALLY love me?      <===>  I've done something stupid and you're 
                                   going to find out sooner or later.

How much do you love me?    <===>  I've done something REALLY stupid and 
                                   someone's on their way to tell you.

In answer to "What's Wrong?"
 
Nothing.                    <===>  I'm in the middle of a fantasy.  Go away.

Everything.                 <===>  Some gorgeous 18 yr. old called me "Sir".

Nothing, really.            <===>  It's just that I'm such an asshole.

I don't want to talk        <===>  I'm impotent.
about it.

Back to my relationship page.