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IMPOSSIBLE CREATURES (PC) By MARTIN KINGSLEY I told them that I don't work for the money, that I wasn't interested. They smiled nastily; at least, I think they were smiling, if you consider 3 dozen teeth poking out of a crack in an old suitcase a smile. Oh, well, they said, in that case, you can have Impossible Creatures, before disappearing in a cloud of raffle tickets and cheque stubs. More 1930s style comic games? Egads! Quick, Brinkley, to the Reviewermobile! We haven't a minute to lose! Where did you put my suitably crumpled fedora? What do you mean, "You left it on the hat rack"? Are you suggesting that I forgot it? No? Good! Impossible Creatures has been a long-awaited arrival, preceded by a journey that involved name changes, much buggerizing around and political intrigue. Well, okay, maybe not so much political intrigue, but still, it makes for a good story.
Will Impossible Creatures rise to the throne of greatness, or descend to the pits along with Messiah, Daikatana and many others? Let's examine this from a simple point of view: You are Rex Chance, typically-buff-adventurer-and-all-round-good-guy, looking for your typically-long-lost-scientist-father. The stuff of all good comic adventures, yes? You receive a letter that leads you to believe that your father is on an uncharted island, where he was developing some kind of new technology, codenamed Sigma. Upon flying out there, things quickly go pear-shaped, with you discovering that your father's colleague has harnessed the Sigma technology to breed genetic nightmares and is making a general mess of the place. Along with the typically-tough-female-assistant, you contrive to stop the madman and save the day. To do this, you must yourself use Sigma to build an army, using whatever DNA you happen to come across.
So it is that the responsibility to provide a fresh experience lands squarely upon the gameplay's metaphorical shoulders. Sadly, it falls just short of innovative, standing somewhere between enjoyable and slightly repetitive. There are three resources you need to build creatures. Firstly, you need power, provided by power stations. Secondly, you need coal. Thirdly, you need to go out and shoot some fuzzy animals with your dart gun, harvesting their DNA in the process. With all of this accomplished, you can then start to build some creatures. This is where the fun is. You have a bank of accessible DNA, which you can combine with any other creature, creating a hybrid.
Each body part has specific advantages and disadvantages, and the game allows you to mix and match to your heart's content until you have the perfect lemming-shark, which you can then save as a viable part of your army. While there are roughly 80 creatures you can use and hundreds of variables, you can only have 9 different units in the unit-selection screen at any one time, meaning that you have to be very picky about managing your menagerie. This seems like a good idea at the start of the game, when you only have about five different animals to mix, but when you're attempting to manage 80+ … let's just say it becomes confusing. Ah, but Brinkley wants to know about the graphics. The graphics, the graphics, how could I forget the graphics?
IC takes advantage of a few advances in graphic card technology, with shiny surfaces and terrain bump mapping, but if you don't own the newest Hercules Geforce Ti4600 8X AGP then don't fret, because you won't be missing much. Indeed, system requirements are somewhat lower than would be expected from the latest 3D real-time strategy blockbuster, even at higher resolutions. Battles aren't that impressive visually and occasionally border on the ridiculous, as the animals seem oversized compared to the rest of the scenery. Heck, even my skunk/wolf towered over poor Rex, and he's a strapping lad, I tell ya. IC seems capable of handling large scale scraps, but you never really need that many units to win a scenario, so it's seldom put to the test.
The voice acting is suitably cheesy, but never overdone, so I cannot level at Impossible Creatures the same criticism I used on Hero X. Relic seem to understand that cheese is good, but too much cheese gives you indigestion... The script is tongue-in-cheek, occasionally satirical and generally well written, and while it may not have you rolling on the floor, it will elicit a wry chuckle every now and then, which is always good. Musically, there isn't much to report. Some nice dramatic symphonic stuff is intermixed with bouncy action tunes and other miscellaneous rhythms. Impossible Creatures may not be the second coming of strategy, but it's a good game. It may not be a revolution, but it's definitely fun. It isn't perfect, but what is? Don't expect it to change your life, do your washing or cook your meals, and you'll get along just fine.
ORIGINALITY 75%
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They came in
the night, those Microsoft cronies, dressed in snakeskin suits with shark
smiles, and whispered how they would make me rich, offering me a fortune
in pennies, every one with strings attached, so they could yank them back
at any moment. 
Originally called
Sigma, it's been in development for a little over 3 years. Being the brainchild
of Relic, those masterminds behind Homeworld, everyone had high hopes
for Impossible Creatures. Have those hopes been justified, or have we
been let down? 
The concept isn't
new. It's been used before; most notably in Bullfrog's little-known strategy/action
cross-breed Genewars. The comic presentation isn't all that fresh either,
seen in games as diverse as Shadow Watch, Hero X and Rise of the Dragon,
although it's unlikely that the Relic team ever played that one. 
There are 6 body
parts to each creature, specifically head, back legs, fore legs/arms,
tail, torso and wings, depending on the creatures involved. 
Well, the IC
engine seems to be a derivative of Relic's Homeworld engine, in that most
cut scenes are handled by the internal engine itself, which, while not
Freelancer quality (see Will Barker's 
Some of the abilities
feel ripped off from other staples of the RTS genre, such as Starcraft
and C&C, but when you come right down to it, everything is a cliché,
so why worry?
