BIG GAY AL
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- bs@boog.org -- http://boog.org
(To the tune of "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon)

A kid walks through the woods
He says why is my dog homosexual now
Why is my dog homosexual
The rest of my pets were so butch
I want a heterosexual dog
I want him to kick Sylvester
Don't want to end up a Sparkette
Wearing a pink bandana
Bandana, bandana
Lost in the forest
Far away the football field
Mister Floralshirt Floralshirt
Help me find my doggie please
I find all this stuff confusing anyhow

If you'll see my sanctuary
I can be your super pal
I can bend you over
And after when you call me
Call me Big Gay Al

A man talks to the kid
He says why are you asking about gays
You've asked the right person about gays
Oh gay people are evil
Their cold black hearts don't pump blood
No blood in their veins
Just some thick vomitious
There's just some thick vomitious
Oil, oil
It oozes through their rotten veins
Clots up thick and sick inside their pea-sized brains
Which causes, causes
All their patterns and smatterings
Of naziesque behaviour

If you'll see my sanctuary
I can be your super pal
I can bend you over
And after when you call me
Call me Big Gay Al
Big Gay Al

A man answers the door
It's a sanctuary door
Maybe it's a gay door
Maybe it's for gay animals
Doesn't understand it
There are no oppresors
He is a South Park kid
He is surrounded by the sound
The sound
Cattle in the discotheque
"We are all gay and that's OK!"
He looks around, around
He sees animals and Brian Boitano
Skating into the background
He says "That's cool!" and "That's just super!"

If you'll see my sanctuary
I can be your super pal
I can bend you over
And after when you call me
Call me Big Gay Al
Call me.

Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na na
Hm, hm, hm hm
Hm, hm, hm hm

[Repeat and fade]
If you'll see my sanctuary
I can bend you over