The
average American household watches 7.25 hours of television every
day. But you are anything but average - you watch 12 hours
every day! Just look at all of the important things you know:
- You
know who shot J.R.
- You
know who killed Laura Palmer.
-
You remember how Lucy told Ricky that they were going to have
a baby.
-
You can recite Susan's "snake-and-rat" speech from
the Survivor finale verbatim.
-
You remember exactly where you were when Susan Lucci finally
won her Emmy
and you wept.
We
know - you're not like other aspiring TV wannabes. This really
is your destiny. You cherish every close-up of a tear falling,
every dramatic pause, every laugh track. You're the kid who started
making home movies at the age of five; you were handed the video
camera at family events and were director, producer, and star.
You know that you were meant for TV!
Yeah,
you and thousands of others. We hate to be the ones to
break it to you, but you're a dime a dozen.
There are thousands of college students, college graduates, and even
those with post-graduate degrees lining up each year for the opportunity
to land some kind of job on a TV show. The competition is fierce,
but don't fret - we can help you get your start. Almost all TV
producers, writers, directors, and executives start out in the
illustrious entry-level position of Production Assistant (or "P.A." to those
in-the-know). Here's how to open that first door.
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Day-to-day
tasks
Salary
Day-to-day
tasks
You
know that a P.A. gig is your best chance to get into the television
biz, but do you really know what the job entails? We're not going
to beat around the bush: a P.A. is a glorified schlepper. The work
is crappy! But think of it this way: This is your hazing ritual
into the Fraternity or Sorority House of TV. Once you're in, you're
in. You'll make connections, move up the ladder, and when the show
gets cancelled after 4 weeks, you might have met someone who can
help you into a better position on their next crappy show.
The
following are some of the exciting tasks you may be asked to do.
(Note that all of these are based on true "Hollywood"
stories):
-
Peeling carrots
on location
at the back of a rental
truck
in a rainstorm.
-
Leaving the set every two hours to insert quarters in the meter
where the director's car is parked.
-
Purchasing $200 of extra chunky mashed potatoes and then covering
an actor's costume in the goop.
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Endless hours of chopping fruits and veggies for the snack table.
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Packing boxes for four days straight, moving the boxes out, bringing
in new boxes, unpacking new boxes.
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Driving around the city picking up props and delivering packages.
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Bringing straws to talent who cannot drink their water and mess
up their lipstick.
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Defrosting frozen meat with a hair dryer for a show segment.
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Cleaning up "the mess" horses leave behind on an animal
program.
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Dubbing tapes.
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Delivering tapes.
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Picking up tapes.
-
Dubbing new tapes.
-
Watching dubbed tapes for hours to make sure that there aren't
any technical glitches.
-
Sitting around and doing absolutely nothing until someone screams
at you.
We
know what you're thinking. "Whoaaa there, Charlie, I didn't
go to college and pay thousands of dollars getting a degree/post-graduate
degree to peel fruit all day!" Well, you're right and you're
wrong. The day-to-day tasks are downright mundane, boring, and ARE
probably beneath you. But on the other hand, you have little-to-no
production experience. Your film degree is worthless. In fact, some
individuals will confess that they prefer hiring P.A.s without film
degrees because they come in knowing that they know nothing instead
of believing they know everything.
And
with this great news, here's another word of warning: Millions of
dollars are spent on TV productions, and there are people whose
heads are on the line. One mistake could throw the entire production
off track, off schedule, and - undoubtedly - off budget. Word of
a newbie P.A. screwing up and costing the production time and money
will spread like wildfire, your name will be impugned, and you will
never work in this town again. So please acknowledge that you are
being set up to fail. Things go wrong on the set daily. Mostly,
those things will be the P.A.s' responsibility. It might not even
be your fault, but you're at the bottom of the food chain, so you'll
get blamed. So grow a thick skin and get ready to take blame graciously.
We're
not trying to be negative; it's just that most people expect to
be sitting next to the director, offering tips on how to make Friends
even funnier, only to be devastated when they end up watching the
second assistant director's car for 5 hours to make sure it doesn't
get towed. And while most of the work is annoying, it's also an
INCREDIBLE opportunity for you to learn how a TV show gets made.
That's why so many people start out this way-when you're a PA, you'll
learn about the whole process, from beginning to end. And if you're
good, you might get to do the really cool things like sitting in
on production meetings and observing the director or editor working.
Salary
Based
on the types of tasks you will need to do, you can bet you won't
be making the big bucks in this position. A generous average for
New York City is around $150 dollars a day or about $500 a week.
It could be less, rarely much more. The work is not steady (who
knows when a show could get cancelled?), there is no guaranteed
income, no 401(k), no health benefits. You could go a month or two
(or three) without work. Many P.A.s end up living at home, living
with many roommates, or living in not-so-desirable locations. The
lucky ones have their lives subsidized by their parents or spouses,
but not all of us are so indulged. At the end of the day, you could
have a more steady income and lifestyle pumping gas or waiting
tables than you will as a P.A.
Still
want to be a P.A.? If so, then you're the exact kind of determined
individual most productions are looking for! So read on.
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