Who's WhoVolume 297 no. 4 / May 2006 Addicks, Steve “The Appetite,” competitive eater, as locomotive mechanic, 93 Andrés, José, avant-garde chef, haute cheese steak of, 146; on mysteries of Coke, 146 Armstrong, Louis, Mussolini and, 159 Arzak, Juan Mari, Spanish chef, freeze-dried monkfish skin and, 145; clarified beeswax and, 145 Baker, Steve, as sacred-grilled-cheese custodian, 87 Belafonte, Harry, as Hugo Chávez interviewee, 94 Big Bird, as model of pediatrician behavior, 112 Bin Laden, Osama, as imperialist, 138 Bolívar, Simón, empty chair of, 96; favorite tree of, 97; ultimate failure of, 105; on the plowing of the sea, 105 Booker, Eric “Badlands,” competitive eater, as doughnut champ, 86; as cheesecake champ, 86; as corned-beef-hash champ, 86; as subway conductor, 86; as rapper, 86 Brezhnev, Leonid, arrhythmia of, 52; rotten teeth of, 52; remote diagnosis of, 52 Buchanan, Daisy, shirt-related rapture and, 112 Buchanan, Patrick, as Lindbergh fan, 133 Bush, George W., post-Castro planning of, 17; on “activist judges,” 46; faux-conservatism of, 138 Carlyle, Thomas, on Darwinian “gospel of dirt,” 57 Carmona, Pedro, as Chávez deposer, 102; as “Pedro the Brief,” 102 Carter, Jimmy, as millionaire, 44; Iran hostage crisis and, 62–77 Castro, Fidel, eightieth birthday of, 17; kid brother of, 17; as Chávez interviewee, 94; humanitarian offensives of, 103 Cavett, Dick, as Chávez role model, 94 Chávez, Hugo, folk singing of, 94; as talk-show host, 94; Iranian-built bicycle of, 94; misidentified carrots and, 96; as Condi antagonist, 97; as Don Quixote distributor, 97; anti- hegemonic news channel of, 97; as figurative West Virginian, 100; coffee addiction of, 100; as grudging democrat, 102; evangelical style of, 103; as regional sugar daddy, 104 Cheever, Susan, foie-gras-flinging daughter of, 112 Clapton, Eric, ukulele stylings of, 158 Clarke, Gedney, as George Washington host, 142; as smallpox host, 142 Crockett, Davy, as relative softie, 66 Cross, John Philip, British soldier, cravat of, 79; knee-high socks of, 79; on goat-related ecstasy, 79; on “mystic dimension of service,” 82 De Gaulle, Charles, as accordion player, 158 Dillard, Annie, on fecundity, 60 Dougherty, Jon E., anti-immigration polemicist, reconquista fears of, 130; as melting-pot skeptic, 130 Ferguson, Craig, late-night host, as “Bing Hitler,” 158 Forno, Richard, security consultant, on Faustian bargains of digital age, 149; as “tinfoil underwear” advocate, 150–152 Fox, Vicente, as lapdog of empire, 96 Friedman, Kinky, gubernatorial prospects of, 17; reality-TV campaigning of, 17; fund-raising prowess of, 17 Frost, Robert, Atlantic rejection of, 60 Gandhi, Mahatma, on Christianity, 20 Gifford, Kathie Lee, as “Mother of the Year,” 120 Glass, Julia, maximalist second novel of, 127; Tolstoyan messiness of, 127 Graham, Billy, as savior of American fundamentalism, 109 Greenspan, Alan, competitive-eating strategy of, 91 Hayworth, J. D., congressman, as anti-immigration crusader, 130–132; on “lettuce liberals,” 131 Hempel, Amy, as writer’s writer, 108; one-liners of, 108; as dog lover, 108; glancing forms of, 108 Hitler, Adolf, as vibraphone player, 158 Housman, A. E., on Gurkhas, 82 Hussein, Uday, golfing habits of, 158 Jackson, Andrew, pirate sidekick of, 138 Jackson, Janet, TiVo title of, 152 Jarvis, Edward “Cookie,” competitive eater, Dizzy Gillespie style of, 90; nasal vomiting and, 91 Jewett, Sarah Orne, muskrat dining companion of, 56 Jong, Erica, as “Mother of the Year,” 120 Kennedy, John F., as sellout, 134 Key, Francis Scott, legal background of, 28; as survivalist, 28 Kobayashi, Takeru, competitive eater, as hot-dog champ, 92–93; unorthodox style of, 93; miraculous accomplishment of, 93 Laffite, Jean, as Jackson pal, 138; as co-savior of New Orleans, 138 Leaf, Ryan, former NFL quarterback, as spectacular flop, 153–154 LeFevre, Carlene, competitive eater, as “Martha Stewart of mastication,” 88 LeFevre, Rich, competitive eater, as Spam champ, 86; as chili champ, 86; as corny-dog champ, 86; metronomic style of, 90 Mann, Thomas, as not Thomas More, 100 Maradona, Diego, as Chávez crony, 105 Marsden, George, historian, on fundamentalism as counterculture, 109 Massey, Cade, economist, on NFL draft irrationality, 155 McInally, Pat, former Harvard punter, perfect test score of, 154 Meir, Golda, medical inscrutability of, 52 Mirer, Rick, former NFL quarterback, unremarkability of, 153 Morales, Evo, Bolivian president, as Chávez protégé, 104; as coca decriminalizer, 104 More, Thomas, as not Thomas Mann, 100 Murcutt, Glenn, Aussie “starchitect,” 107; as one-man band, 107; outback mining museum of, 107; light touch of, 107 Murray, Les, Australian poet, as pledger of allegiance, 28 Mussolini, Alessandra, as “neo-Fascist cheesecake,” 159; cultural sensitivity of, 159; on Fascist export of democracy, 159 Mussolini, Benito, gas-station hangout of, 158–159; pudgy fingers of, 158; as recreational violinist, 158; as Fats Waller fan, 159 Mussolini, Romano, pianist, as Chet Baker acquaintance, 158–159; as potential James Bond villain, 158; pet tortoises of, 158 Nader, Ralph, as competitive-eating critic, 88 Nelson, Horatio, as Barbadian statue subject, 143–144 Nostradamus, competitive-eating prophecy of, 91 O’Karma, David “Coondog,” competitive eater, as tag-team bratwurst champion, 90 Parker, Robert, wine critic, outsize influence of, 148 Pompidou, Georges, puffy face of, 52 Powell, Colin, outsider influence of, 37; as prank-call target, 85 Puzo, Mario, as Balzac paraphraser, 42; on morality of great fortunes, 42 Qaddafi, Muammar, colonial reparations and, 159 Raphael, Sally Jessy, as “Mother of the Year,” 120 Rice, Condoleezza, post-Castro planning of, 17; star quality of, 37; as Chávez foil, 97 Rivers, Joan, as “Mother of the Year,” 120 Robespierre, Maximilien, feline appearance of, 138 Roth, Philip, virtuosity of, 120; tiresomeness of, 133 Rumsfeld, Donald, hedging of, 36–37; as insider, 37 Rustin, Bayard, forgotten genius of, 133 Shea, George, competitive-eating impresario, on isolation and loss, 86; on need and regret, 86; on metaphysics of pearl-making, 87; on Alan Greenspan, 91; glossolalia of, 91 Sparks, Jared, former Harvard president, archival slicing of, 142 Starr, Bart, as poor draft prospect, 153; on disenchantment of modern football, 154 Steiner, Leslie Morgan, “mommy wars” field marshal, conceptual blind spots of, 110–112, 115–116; Splenda and, 112 Stevens, Cat, as red flag, 85 Stravinsky, Igor, as Californian, 138 Thaler, Richard H., economist, on NFL draft irrationality, 155 Thomas, Sonya, competitive eater, as “Black Widow,” 86; as asparagus champ, 86; as fruitcake champ, 86; as jambalaya champ, 86; as meatball champ, 86; as oyster champ, 86; as toasted-ravioli champ, 86; as Turducken champ, 86 Thoreau, Henry David, pedestrian insights of, 54–56 Torres, Miguel, Spanish winemaker, as stainless-steel stalwart, 148 Trump, Ivana, as “Mother of the Year,” 120 Uncle Sam, as environmental avenger, 57 Unitas, Johnny, as poor draft prospect, 153 Ventura, Jesse “The Body,” wacky electoral footsteps of, 17 Vidal, Gore, as Lindbergh fan, 133 Walsh, Bill, on delicacy of football coaching, 154–155 Warner, Mark, presidential hopeful, as flipper of cell-phone licenses, 42–44; as grabber of wrists, 44; basketball skills of, 44 Washington, George, Barbadian hangouts of, 141–144; junior year abroad of, 141–144; “alabaster formality” of, 141; tubercular half brother of, 142 Winfrey, Oprah, social mandate of, 116 Wintour, Anna, as “Mother of the Year,” 120 Wolf, Naomi, as myopic blurber, 114 Benjamin Healy is an Atlantic Monthly deputy managing editor.
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