Natural Born Kissers Written by Matt Selman Directed by Klay Hall ============================================================================== Production code: 5F18 Original Airdate on FOX: 17-May-1998 Capsule revision A (20-Dec-2000) ============================================================================== > TV Guide Synopsis ============================================================================== (Canadian) Series finale: Marge and Homer put the "ooh la la" back into their relationship when they rekindle romance by making love in dangerous locations. {hl} ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Blackboard: I WAS NOT THE INSPIRATION / FOR "KRAMER" I WAS NOT THE INSPIRATION / FOR "KRAMER" at cutoff Couch: The family run in as frogs (Maggie a tadpole), and sit on a lily pad. Homer switches on the TV with his extra-long frog tongue. [Recycled from 5F11] ============================================================================== > Didja notice... ============================================================================== ... Homer carries Marge (with both hands) up the ladder in the barn and doesn't lose his balance? ... the farmer considers stabbing the hay twice with his bayonet (in one small part of a large area) a thorough search? ... Marge's hair looks a lot better down? ... the golfcourse has many of the same features as it did years ago? ... Maude seems to be getting sick of the Flanders flock? ... nobody sees Homer and Marge while trying to fish the ball out of the windmill, despite the opening being pretty big? (Ned Flanders even appears to peek inside once or twice if you watch his eyes) ... the windmill blades like like they should have taken Skinner's head off when Homer pushes the windmill over? ... when Homer stands in front of the minature men sawing wood, it looks like they're sawing something else? ... at the end, Lisa appears to know what the parents are up to? Anthony Dean: ... this episode's been rated "TV-PG-D,L,S" (if they'd shown an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, they could've hit all four letter designations :-) ... Maggie only appears in the initial living room scene and at the airplane restaurant? ... how gleeful Maggie looks when the plane's rocking? ... Homer actually remembers his wedding anniversary? ... Homer doesn't cut himself on the barbed wire fence? ... Homer knows how to install a refrigerator motor? ... Homer and Marge's names engraved inside the golf course windmill? Nathan Mulac DeHoff: ... Marge's hair looks shorter than usual when she is in the hayloft? ... Gil is becoming a recurring character? ... Homer has presumably gotten another pair of underwear since "King of the Hill"? Daniel L. Dreibelbis: ... this is the first time Homer yelled "BART!" in that barking tone in a long time? Jordan Eisenberg: ... Todd was beating his older brother in checkers? ... "Up, up and Buffet!" wasn't actually a buffet? (Unless you've seen a buffet that served hamburgers) ... Lisa used a colander to hold the dirt she dug up? ... Chief Wiggum is much less tolerant of Marge and Homer's nudity than in 1F22? ... both this season and the last ended with the kids disappointed that they're not going somewhere? Patrick Geahan: ... Grandpa has something in his head that's metallic? ... how close Homer and Marge came to sliding into the sign? Andrew Gill: ... Grampa can hear the headphones while Bart is wearing them? ... this is the first time that we saw Marge's cleavage (Before this, it was just a big unibreast)? Tony Hill: ... the doggie bag is labeled "Arf Bag"? ... Homer and Marge have their tops on when they emerge from the covers? ... OFF keeps unwrapped fish? ... Homer and Marge patronize Esther's Motor Shop? ... the barn has a media room? ... Bart runs the metal detector and Lisa digs? ... a heart-shaped pillow on the BB&B bed? ... nobody locks the door when the maid leaves? ... Lincoln is decapitated by the windmill? ... crows call as Homer and Marge fly over SNPP? John Isles IV: ... the farmer's shotgun's bayonet was a three-pronged pitchfork with a broken handle? Joe Klemm: ... Homer and Marge's aniversary was on a Friday? ... Homer and Marge do it in the sewing room at 8:25 or 5:40? ... Moe steals Mrs. Lovejoy's line? Haynes Lee: ... Marge's tall curler rack? Tom Rinschler: ... the oxygen masks dropping in the restaurant? Benjamin Robinson: ... this episode is rated TV-PG-DLS, the most restrictive the show has yet received? ... the restaurant captain mispronounces "Simpson" as "Sampson"? ... Marge covers herself when the Bed & Breakfast maid walks in, even though she isn't undressed? ... it's "blink and you miss it," but we twice see Marge's tush? (A "Simpsons" milestone: This is the first time Marge -- or any other adult female on the show -- has mooned us) ... this is "blink and you miss it," but Marge's breasts are exposed for a frame or two, as well? ... someone on the Shopper editorial board felt it was necessary to put a "striker bar" over Homer's chest? Donni Sapphire-Bernstein: ... throughout the episode, Homer is a lot more intelligent than he's been in recent shows? Mike Smith: ... it's the first OFF episode directed by Klay Hall (Whose previously directed several "King Of The Hill" episodes [When will any members of OFF be on THAT show? Speaking of KOTH, an Butterfinger commerical featuring OFF appeared in the KOTH season finale?])? ... it's only the seventh episode this season to have an full opening? ============================================================================== > Voice credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castallaneta (Homer) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Also starring - Special guest voice ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== + "Natural Born Killers" (movie) - obvious inspiration for episode title + "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?" (movie) - obvious inspiration for the official alterna-title "Margie, May I Sleep With Danger?" + "Seinfeld" (TV series) - chalkboard gag ("Kramer" -- see comments) + "Old Faithful" (movie) - Cold Faithful Fridge Motor + "Treasure Island" (novel) - Bart's pirate fantasy + "Gremlins 2" (movie) - happy ending of Casablanca {jk} + "It's A Beautiful Life" (movie) - famous movie with unseen ending + "The Addams Family" (the TV show) - Homer borrows the "Cadita" phrase and kissing style [up the arm --hmw] from Mr. Addams {bjr} + Smuggler's Cove - "Snuggler's Cove" in spoofs this name {bjr} + Crystal Cathedral (in Garden Grove, California) - cathedral made from glass + "Black Sunday" - balloon going over stadium just like blimp {hl} ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - Homer is caught nude {je} - [2F06], [1F10], [9F12], [9F04] - Homer and Marge caught nude together {je} - [1F22], [9F08], [2F07] - Chief Wiggum releasing the hounds {hl} - [7F04] Chief Wiggum's hound picks up Homer's scent in bar - [8F15] Chief Wiggum uses hounds to track down the Teachers Editions - [1F09] Chief Wiggum uses hounds to track down the Cat Burglar but instead releases hounds upon himself - [2F17] Chief Wiggum uses them to find Milhouse - [7G01], [2F07] Homer and Marge go to a motel/inn for romance {ad} - [7G02] Homer has a clip-on tie {ad} - [7G11] a church other than OFF's is seen {ad} - [7G13] Homer falls down the stairs and lands on his back {ad} - [7F08] Minature Golf Course {ms} - [8F02], [8F12], [8F16] the Gilded Truffle appears {nmd} - [8F10] Homer and Marge's wedding - [8F10] Homer and Marge's old make-out place resurfaces - [8F15] "They only come out at night" {je} - [8F21] "the Little Spanish Flea" -- played here in the background for the divorce commercial {dsb} - [9F10] plane rocked {hl} - [1F01], [2F20] Maggie smiles from behind a pacifier {bjr} - [1F10] the dog, like the hat, had one day until retirement {dsb} - [1F22] Homer breaks the fridge motor by leaving the door open {pg} - [2F07] Homer and Marge manage to rekindle their waning sexual relations {nmd} - [2F07] Homer seen in a barn {ad} - [3F20], [4F18] Moe usurps Helen Lovejoy's line, "Won't somebody please think of the children?" {bjr} - [4F04] Marge asks Homer if the current situation is how he pictured married life {nmd} - [4F08] The lawn ornaments which Homer and Marge hide behind are scene {ctd} - [4F12] old people seem to be unable to distinguish key characteristics (age here, gender there) {dsb} - [4F19] Frank Grimes brought up ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - Buffet sign {je} UP, UP AND ( BUFFET! \ --> --> --> (tilted 45 degrees clockwise) - The restaurant doggy bag {bjr} ARF BAG (Double word-play here: "Barf," of course, and "Arf! Arf!" as in what a dog might say about a doggy bag.) - Stuff in Bart and Lisa's haul - Broken pair of glasses (they look like Milhouse's) - Clothes hanger - A few plastic rings - Nails, screws, pins etc. - A license plate (247 BEF) - A tray of some sort - A chain - A bell - A shelf wedge - Something blue (looks like a cloth) - A red can (Duff?) - Golf course {je} SIR PUTTS-A-LOT [picture of a fat man leaning on a club like a sword victoriously] MERRIE OLDE FUN CENTRE - [?] Go Kartz - Her Majesty's Putting Cafe - Merlin's Video Dungeon - Skee Ball - Motor supply sign {bjr} <- ESTHER'S MOTOR SHOP NIGHTCRAWLERS (These two are smaller signs are hanging under the main sign) FUDGE - Motor box {bjr} COLD FAITHFUL REFRIGERATOR MOTOR - Sign on the car lot balloon {bjr} OUR PRICES ARE SKY HIGH - Scoreboard at football game {je} time [ 12 ] [ 00:03 ] [ 14 ] Atoms quarter Sharks [ Duff ] [ 4 ] [ Duff ] [ ad ] [ ad ] - Things that fell from the overhead compartments {je} - Teddy bear - briefcase - Rubick's Cube - sheet of paper - Springfield Shopper headline {dld} Guard Dog Clings To Life ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity, and other goofs ============================================================================== = Maggie watches from the couch as Bart and Lisa play Hotwheels, but she's gone when the camera angle changes, then returns. * The cake couldn't have been in the freezer for 11 years, as the Simpsons have only been living in their current house for about 8 years. {ad} [See next goof --hmw] * In "A Milhouse Divided," (during the flashback) Homer and Marge's wedding cake was whale-shaped, and had no bride and groom. {nmd} [The bride and groom are probably from Homer and Marge's second wedding in the same episode --hmw] * Homer has looked in the freezer many times. {th} = From the way that the scene is animated when Homer comes down the stairs and slips on the water, the kitchen is where the front room normally is. {pg} = There was far too much water from the freezer defrosting. {th} = Homer says his tie's a clip-on, yet the tie looks like a conventional tie (part of the tie is seen under Homer's shirt collar) {ad} * A green tree shouldn't catch fire like that [lightning strikes outside the barn --hmw]. {th} = The pitchfork would obscure the sights of the shotgun. {th} - After Homer and Marge "have fun" behind the curtain in the jigsaw room, when we see OFF's house the windows are greenish. = There are more items in Bart and Lisa's haul when Homer and Marge enter. * A piano wouldn't work with Hitler's body inside. {th} = Maude's blue eye makeup disappears. * Homer and Marge get most of the details right, but Bart was really conceived in the mini-golf course's castle, not the windmill. Who can forget the line, "Don't worry Marge, this castle is impregnable!" {bjr} = Ned Flanders is stood with Helen Lovejoy, but frames later he is stood with Chief Wiggum, without being seen moving. His putter also disappears. = In the opening shot of Gil's car dealership, the balloon was stationed in the middle of the lot, fully inflated, with an advertisement taped to the side. I don't know much about hot air balloons, but my instincts tell me that if a balloon isn't operating or in flight, the balloon deflates. {je} = There are two number 12s on the same team in the stadium. = There were no cameras aloft where the flashes were coming from. {th} = (I hate myself for including this, but) The animators couldn't seem to decide just what size Marge's chest is. (If it were anyone else, this would be a minor nit.) {je} ============================================================================== > Reviews ============================================================================== Ben Collins: Despite the weird Simpsons-meets-South Park-meets-thirtysomething premise and lack of subtlety and a strong plot (or ending), this episode actually works on a certain level. Matt Selman's style is like a somewhat weaker adaptation of Oakley and Weinstein's pack-a-lot-of-gags-on-a-weak- story-and-make-the-episode-work [stop doing that! --hmw] formula. While this one didn't keep my mind going, it made me laugh out loud. (Grade: B) Anthony Dean: After last week's episode, this week's offering was a disappointment, especially as a season finale. The subplot, along with the episode's third act, didn't seem to go anywhere, and I could've done without a joke referring to "Homer's Enemy"'s poor ending. (Grade: C-) Nathan Mulac DeHoff: THIS was the episode that they chose to end the season? The rekindling of Homer and Marge's sex life has been done, and much more effectively and humorously, in "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy." Some of the other jokes were recycled from previous episodes, too. As for Homer and Marge trying to get home while naked, that just wasn't funny. The subplot had potential. I liked the pirate scene and the "killing spree ending" reel of "It's A Wonderful Life." As it was, though, too little time was spent on the subplot, and, not having seen "Casablanca," the alternate ending didn't do all that much for me. (Grade: D) Daniel L. Dreibelbis: Well, the season finale wasn't too bad, with a strong "A" plot and a much weaker "B" plot to drive it. The third act was definitely the best with Marge and Homer's attempt to escape the authorities loaded with some excellent gags. The "B" plot, alas, ended somewhat abruptly and tended to fall flat, although the alternate ending to Casablanca did have a few laughs. (Grade: B) Jordan Eisenberg: A great end to a mediocre season. For the first time in a while, I felt that the writers took full creative advantage of a situation, and were able to keep everything in character during the most unlikely situations. I did feel that sex appeal played a big part, but the writing had enough real substance to accept it. (Grade: A-) Patrick Geahan: Thouroughly enjoyable. A good plot, with a so-so subplot, and a good ending. Shows Marge and Homer as a normal couple, with normal problems. Plenty of refs(Robert Schiller, the Clash) and smart humor, added with the fact that the nudity and the plot were semi revealing without being tasteless. (Grade: A) Andrew Gill: Well, I'll have to admit, I'm a sucker for experimentalism. I'm such a fan that I often overlook terrible plots, etc. Maybe I ought to just abstain from reviewing the plot. The rest, though, was pretty good. The entire episode was nominally off, but just within bounds of being a good ep. (Grade: A) Tony Hill: This was a rip-roaring good episode with no downside. The only thing that struck me as odd was Carl & Lenny's comments about Marge. And why didn't Homer just throw the ball out? This ep was good for a lot of laughs. (I laughed hardest at the "Yablo" commercial for Sprite.) Homer's lines "I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong" and "Why are people always trying to kill me" are instant OFF classics. (Grade: A) Haynes Lee: A great ending to a dismal season. The Bart subplot was too minor and could have been dropped entirely without notice. (Grade: A) Ondre Lombard: An exciting, hilarious, fresh and sexy episode which takes a wacky spin on Homer and Marge's romantic life. One for the classics, except for the fact that the subplot seemed needless and didn't really contribute too much besides Bart and Lisa's presence and a bit of Hollywood satire. Without the subplot, an A, with it, the conclusive grade. (Grade: B+) Michael K. Neylon: With regards to this episode, I found it to be one of the better episodes of this season, and strictly considering episodes produced for this season, the best one so far. This episode shows how OFF can offer slapstick/visual humor while still providing a strong plot (The subplot, eh...). It also shows some of the good flashback/throwaway scenes that OFF can be known for - the pirate scene, for example, was funny, as well as the alternate ending to Casablanca. This episode also helps show how Marge and Homer's married life beyond being parents is happening. This strengthed that they do really love each other, and was a subtle improvement on their characters. Only 3 major nits on this episodes. First, the reference to Frank Grimes. The subplot blew, basically. It had little to do with the main plot, and didn't end with anything worthwhile, or even with a solid end. The big nit I have is the joke that ended Act 2 -- why did *ALL* the townspeople need to get involved in groping the couple through the windmill? This made no sense, but given how Act 3 starts, it sorta makes hindsight sense -- however, it was still a poor crutch. But save for these nits, I'm really pleased with the end result of this episode, much better than the premise lead on to believe. This season, 9/10, and 8/10 on an overall basis. Not destined for classicness, but a good sign that the spark of the old OFF episodes are still there in the production crew. Benjamin Robinson: It's not surprising that this episode had sexual innuendo to spare. It's a little surprising how far this show goes. It's really surprising that the show is about as good when everyone keeps their pant(ie)s on as when they bare it all. The subplot, where Bart and Lisa search for buried treasure, is also good. Funny instead of just smutty, "Natural Born Kissers" is a great way to wrap up the year. Parental advisory: This episode isn't as family-friendly as the typical "Simpsons" show -- proceed with caution. (Grade: A) Matt Rose: A very silly episode. I laughed a lot. I will admit my perverted side did like seeing Marge and Homer running around naked; you had to love it when Homer stood in front of those two sawing figures where his you-know-what would be and when he covered himself with teacups. I have never heard of Matt Selman; it seems like a lot of the better episodes this year were written by first timers. (Larry Doyle and Ned Goldreyer to name others...) Encouraging for next year. A couple nits: I think the subplot in this episode was totally pointless except for the 'Casablanca' part. And Lisa should be able to tell the difference between a metal detector and a vacuum cleaner. And WHY did they have to mention Frank Grimes? Why remind us of an episode most of us would rather forget. Don't the writers know that the ending to that episode doesn't sit well with a lot of people? These events notwithstanding, I enjoyed pretty much everything else. Good characterization, an enjoyable plot, a decent ending (well..to the main plot anyway). The animation seemed different but OK. The voice-acting as usual was a treat to listen to; rarely does anyone seem to give them the credit they deserve. As this season comes to a close, the show is back on somewhat of a roll after a dismal period near the middle of the year that I would call one of the series lowest points. For the first time in a long time, I've been excited about new Simpsons episodes again. (Grade: B+) Donni Sapphire-Bernstein: A great season finale. I think we've all been a little curious about Homer and Marge's bedtime habits from time to time [uh, what? --hmw] and while this episode may tell us more than we want to know it's still quite interesting. Plus, practically every last joke was a bullseye. Grandpa and "Fatty Yellow Beans," Homer drunk on love and beer, and the people at the see-through cathedral will no doubt become permanent parts of the Simpsons canon of quotes. This episode showed once again the superior plot twists and conceits made possible through the use of cartoons, and there was practically nothing for me to gripe about. The only possible fault was that past getting caught in minitaure golf everything was hard to believe -- but so what? (Grade: A+) Mike Smith: At least the alternate ending of "Casablanca" should've been longer, instead of giving so much HARDCORE NUDITY!!! That's the matter with subplots this season. not much subplots to settled down with! (Grade: A-) Yours truly: I have mixed feelings about this one. While it's a very funny episode, with an appealing plot, I would prefer it if this episode had never happened. Running around town naked and having sex in public is a road I hoped the Simpsons would never go down. Such a ridiculous idea. (Grade: C-) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> What's the title? There are two official titles for this episode. In the United States and most countries, "Natural Born Kissers" is used, but the episode is also known as "Margie, May I Sleep With Danger" in the United Kingdom and other countries. >> Fun with promotion Benjamin Robinson shares some amusing information: The person charged with putting together the radio promotion for this episode evidently didn't feel the episode was ribald enough, so he or she spiced up the dialog. Marge's "I feel so naughty" line was juxtaposed with Bart's, "You guys are sick," making it look like the Simpson children were in the know. >> A guide to what they showed and what they didn't Jordan Eisenberg seems to be the only person daring enough to come forward and admit he tracked down instances of strong nudity in the episode with the help of watching parts frame-by-frame: I counted three times Marge's breasts were exposed, and once (I'll have to check my tape on a higher resolution TV) I thought I saw a frame of Homer's, um ... doodle. The first time is just as they leave the fallen windmill: Marge wasn't facing forwards when she began running, and we got two frames of, as Benjamin Robinson put it, two close parenthesis ") )" before she faced away from us. The clearest example is in the balloon basket. After Homer's line "The British tabloids will have a field day", he lets go of Marge to stand up and it takes five frames for her to cover herself up again. From what we see, in addition to having four fingers, yellow skin and blue hair, the women of Springfield have no nipples. After being dumped into the football stadium, Marge is shown one more time. As she reaches for Homer, we get one frame with one breast (the right). I'm not very intent on confirming this, but I think I saw Homer's hands slip for one frame as he runs from the fence to the tree. When I freeze-framed it, it was mostly a blur. >> "We're playing Hotwheels!" Hotwheels are car-based toys. You can put together your own race tracks by clipping pieces (like Bart and Lisa were fighting with) together. >> "And that's how I earned the Iron Cross!" The Iron Cross (Eiserne Kreuz) was a military decoration, awarded for merits in the war. Instituted in Prussia in the 1800s, and to German soldiers of the First and Second World War about a hundred years later. >> Dave Barry: American Badass Daniel L. Dreibelbis: Dave Barry, the syndicated newspaper columnist and author whose looks at popular culture and daily life are riotously funny, and whose down-to-earth and silly approach to journalism would appeal perfectly to someone like Bart. A self-proclaimed expert on bad songs (his comments on Neil Diamond won him the continuing emnity of the balladeer's fans), Dave plays lead guitar in the Hard Rock Remainders, a rock group consisting of authors which includes Stephen King, Amy Tan and (surprise!) Matt Groening. >> I knew we should've gone with, "Opaque Metal Catherdral" Benjamin Robinson: There is a Crystal Cathedral -- it's an all-glass church out in California somewhere. If I'm not mistaken, the Rev. Robert Schuller used to host a televangelism program from there, and might still to this day. Also if I'm not mistaken, more that one "Crystal Cathedral" has been built, so the "Where is Springfield" folks probably shouldn't pin Springfield's location to close to Schuller's church. >> Casablanca Daniel L. Dreibelbis helps all of us who were staring blankly during the Casablanca alternate ending: If you've been hiding under a rock for the century, it's considered one of the greatest movies ever made, with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in a tale of missed opportunity and foreign intrigue set in World War II. >> Alternate ending, eh? Dale G. Abersold: No, they never filmed an alternative ending to "Casablanca." According to the Internet Movie Database (http://www.imdb.com), however, they had scheduled to film a second ending. However, the original ending worked so well, they didn't bother with a second one (in which, presumably, Ilse would end up staying with Rick). What do you mean, you've never seen "Casablanca"? Go see it today! >> Damn you British tabloids! Daniel L. Dreibelbis shares a little interesting information: Homer's disgusted comment about the British tabloids reporting on their scandal was inspired: Rupert Murdoch, who owns FOX Television, the network The Simpsons appears on in the U.S. (and who also owns SKY, the satellite station that shows the first-run episodes in the UK and Europe) happens to own London's The Sun, a tabloid notorious for printing scandal stories on the rich and famous with blaring front-page headlines and pictures, as well as moralizing about vice and promiscuity of the general public (a hypocritical stance, since the Sun is also notorious for printing pictures of topless models on Page 3). [There's also a tabloid in Britain called The Daily Sport, which is basically a whole newspaper full of Page 3s. They'd probably be the first to jump at the Homer/Marge story. --hmw] >> Episode too racy? Mike Scully spoke about this episode in an interview posted at dailyradar.com on 6th December, 2000. An extract follows. Direct Hit: Actually, you bring up a point that I was planning on asking you about. Has there ever been an instance where you guys really wanted to do an edgy story, but the network stepped in and simply said "no way"? Mike Scully: Not really. But there was one time they looked at an early draft of a script and voiced some concern. It was a couple of years ago -- the episode where Homer and Marge struggle to rekindle some excitement for each other in the bedroom ["Natural Born Kissers"]. After we [writers] established their marital problems, we needed to find a way to resurrect their passion, and we came up with the idea that they get excited by the prospect of getting caught by having sex in dangerous, public places. The network was worried about the overtly sexual theme of the story and I had to promise them that we would handle it tastefully. I think we pulled it off. At the end, Homer and Marge sprint away from a miniature golf course where they were having sex, but no one really catches them in a compromising position. >> Nudity -- bad? Michael K. Neylon: One of the comment elements that people that disliked this episode was the amount of nudity in this show. While there might have been a lot, the animation at least did succeed in getting across the nudity without major problems with exposing certain parts of the body -- that is, it was more tasteful nudity rather than the type generally associated with pornography. Furthermore, the staff did a good job not to bring attention to the nudity itself, instead focusing on their plight of avoiding being seen (there's a subtle, but tasteful, difference). The only joke that I think implied more than it appeared was when Marge and Homer were hiding behind the pinwheel-like lawn decorations - considering that there could have been so much more jokes of a similar nature with this episode, just having only one of them shows good restraint on the part of the production staff, and prevented this episode from becoming the most vulgar of OFF episode. >> Thoughts - Anthony Dean, "I surely hope that tonight's round of subpar animation isn't the new standard; the initial scene with Homer and Marge driving with the fridge motor looked rather poorly done." >> Miscellaneous, Etc. - MPAA rating: TV-PG-D-L-S (most restrictive OFF has ever recieved!) - Car Watch quickies: One of the cars in the SNPP lot vaguely resembles a '57 Chevy, especially in the rear fender and taillight area. Gil's lot has a VW bug on it. Uh, you looking at the cars on the lot, weren't you? {bjr} - This year's finale of Dharma & Greg last week had the couple spicing up their love life by having sex in public places. {hl} [Tom Rinschler suggests, "I was thinking, since Yeardly Smith is a semi-regular on that show, she might have mentioned something about this episode within earshot of the production team of D & G?" --hmw] - According to "Bart Simpson's Guide to Life," (p. 127) we can define the word "gymnoscopaphobia" as, "the fear of being seen naked." Of course, since Homer and Marge have the opposite problem, we can call them "gymnoscopaphiliacs"! {bjr} - Haynes Lee's alterna-title for this episode is "Sleepless in Springfield". - Jordan Eisenberg's alterna-title is "Stark Naked Dad". - This episode is available in video cassette in the United Kingdom (and VCD in some other countries), on the Simpsons "Too Hot For TV" tape. >> Musical references + "Heart and Soul" - Song that Sam plays, written by Frank Loesser and Hoagy Carmichael in 1938. The closed-captioning said it was supposed to be "As Time Goes By," which, for the record, was written by Herman Hupfeld in 1931, and as nearly everyone knows, was used in "Casablanca" in 1942. (Evidently Warner Brothers, which controls the song, wouldn't give OFF/Fox permission.) {th} + "Spanish Flea" - written by Julius Wechter and was a hit in the mid 1960s for Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass {th} + "Rock the Casbah" by the Clash - Bart says the title of the song {hl} + "Up, Up and Away!" - "Up, Up and Buffet!" restaurant ============================================================================== > Quotes and scene summary (transcribed by John Ogan) ============================================================================== % Act one. In the master bedroom, Homer straightens his tie in the mirror. % Marge sits nearby, dressed in a short black dress. Look, honey, I clipped on my tie all by myself. -- Homer, "Natural Born Kissers" % Homer wishes Marge a happy anniversary and gives her a kiss, when Homer % finds a piece of paper in his suit. He takes it out. Homer: Hey, look what was in here! A program from that guy's funeral. Marge: You mean Frank Grimes? Homer: Yeah! Yeah! Whatever happened to that guy? -- The eternal question, "Natural Born Kissers" % Downstairs, Bart and Lisa are swordfighting with lengths of toy plastic % car road. Marge: What are you doing? Lisa: Playing Hotwheels. Bart: Oww! That had a guidepin in it. -- The hazards of toys, "Natural Born Kissers" % Grampa is meant to be babysitting, but he hasn't showed up. % In Ned Flanders' house, Abe watches as Rod and Todd play checkers. Abe: Now you got her, Bart. Jump Lisa's king. Rod: I'm not Bart. I'm Rod Flanders. Abe: There you go with that smart mouth! Lisa, run outside and cut me a switch. Todd: Yes, sir! -- "Natural Born Kissers" % Back in the Simpson house. % Homer and Marge decide they have to take the kids with them, so Bart % suggests a romantic place for OFF to dine. % The Simpsons celebrate at the "Up, Up, And Buffet" restaurant, % which serves its customers in an airline setting, complete with children % running about noisily. Homer bumps his head on the overhead compartment, % spilling plastic utensils all over both his head and the floor. Pilot: [over PA] Okay, folks, this is your pilot speaking. If you look to the left side of the aircraft, you will see Homer and Marge Sampson, who are celebrating with us today their eleventh air-niversary, heh, heh. So hang on, while we dip our wings to this happy couple. [The plane starts to shake, causing general chaos on board. Outside, the 'pilot' shouts to two men shaking the wing.] Pilot: Hey Jose, easy up, huh? Jose: Sorry. We were only hired to park cars. -- "Natural Born Kissers" % While the kids seem to be enjoying themselves, Marge looks sadly out % the window towards The Gilded Truffle, where a young couple sit next to the % window, enjoying a romantic dinner. Later, at home, Marge sticks an "Arf % Bag" inside the freezer. Marge: Well, maybe our next anniversary will be more romantic. Aww, look, Homey, our wedding cake! Homer: You mean there's been cake in our freezer for eleven years? Why was I not informed? -- "Natural Born Kissers" Marge: Look at this little plastic couple. Hmm, so full of hopes, potential, dreams for the future. Homer: Hey Marge, wouldn't it be weird if they had little parties at night? Wee little parties? -- Homer and Marge look at their wedding cake, "Natural Born Kissers" % She shuts the freezer door on her way out. Homer pops it open to check % on the couple afterwards, shouting "Gotcha!...Oh," leaving the freezer door % open. In their bedroom, Marge and Homer lie in bed. % Obviously having not done it for a long time, they find it difficult to be % intimate. % The two finally give up and come out from undneath the covers, at which % point Santa's Little Helper walks in the room. He jumps on Homer's lap, who % turns on the light. Homer: Look who's here! Marge: Ooh, look at the good boy! Homer: He's the best boy! Marge: Oh, yes he is! Yes he is! [The dog jumps off the bed, and Homer and Marge sigh.] Homer: Hey Marge, wasn't that great when the dog came in here? Marge: Oh, yeah! He's really special! Homer: I love that dog! Marge: I love him too! Good night! Homer: Good night! -- An odd conversation after failing to be intimate, "Natural Born Kissers" % The next morning, Homer walks down the stairs, whistling. He slips on a % puddle of water at the bottom, sending him to the floor. Curiously % following the trail of water, Homer is stopped by his wife just before % reaching the kitchen. Marge: Homer, don't look! Homer: What? Aaah! The food! [Homer sees food all over the floor, scattered about the shallow body of water that is his kitchen. He picks up a stray fish and screams.] Homer: Why did this happen? Why?! -- "Natural Born Kissers" Lisa: Someone left the freezer door open and the motor burned out. We can get a new one. Homer: Okay. It was just the shock of seeing all that food on the floor. Plus, I've just fallen on my back, which hurt more than I let on. -- "Natural Born Kissers" % Driving a country road, Homer and Marge sit in the car uneasily. Marge: When we got married, is this how you thought we'd be spending our Saturdays? Driving out to the boondocks to trade in a refrigerator motor? Homer: Eh, I never thought I'd live this long. -- "Natural Born Kissers" % Over the car radio, a commercial airs. Folks, is your marriage stuck in a rut? Can you even remember the last time you felt the thrill of romance? Well, maybe you need... a divorce! [jolly music plays] Call the divorce specialists now for a consultation, and free tote bag! -- A radio ad, "Natural Born Kissers" % Marge switches off the radio. She points to a dirt road, letting Homer % know that it's their turn. Homer notices it a bit late, and turns sharply % onto it, getting his wheels stuck in the mud. He hits the gas, sending % mud flying behind the car. % He floors it again, sending mud all over the back window. He does it % again, at which point the car begins sinking in the mud. He does it again, % prompting Marge to yell "Homer!". % Meanwhile, at the Retirement Castle, Bart and Lisa listen to one of % Abraham's stories. And that's why today, bananas are called 'yellow fatty beans'. Questions? -- Grampa, "Natural Born Kissers" Bart: When are Mom and Dad coming back? Abe: Bored, are ya? Lisa, go cut me a switch. Bart: There's gotta be something to do around here. Hey, are they pulling the plug on anybody today? Abe: Nope, everybody's paid up. -- Top ten signs you're living in a crooked nursing home, "Natural Born Kissers" % Lisa returns to Abraham with a round, metal device attached to a rod. % It's Abe's old metal detector from the war. He used to use it to clear % the paths of mines. % Back in the early forties, Abe hunts for mines and ends up knocking an % American tank off a cliff, and destroying a truck. And that's how I earned the Iron Cross! -- Grampa, the nut, "Natural Born Kissers" % Abe says Bart and Lisa can borrow the metal detector. % Bart turns the detector on and points it at various parts of Abe's body. That's my brass knee! Steel hip! That one's news to me! -- Abe explaining metal detected in his body, "Natural Born Kissers" % Back in the country, Homer and Marge walk up the road. Dark clouds % begin forming, however, and rain begins to fall. The two hide out in a % barn, and climb a ladder onto the upper level, where they rest in a hay % loft. Marge: Safe at last. Homer: Shh! We're trespassing! And some of these farmers have pitchforks! -- I saw it on TV once, "Natural Born Kissers" % This particular farmer, from inside his house, notices that some of his % animals have escaped. He calls to them by name. % The man grabs his lantern and double barrel shotgun (with a pitchfork % bayonet) and goes toward the barn to investigate. Seeing the door open, % he checks inside. If somebody's in here, you're in for some serious ass forkin'! -- A farmer's threats, "Natural Born Kissers" % After searching around the barn for a bit, the farmer sticks his pitchfork % through the bottom of the hay loft, ramming it just inches from Marge's % waist. The farmer gives up, and leaves for his media room. % Having nearly been caught up there, Homer and Marge are excited. % The two see this as reason enough to...er, "Rock the Casbah" there in % the barn. A cow watches from outside through a hole in the wall, and % 'moos' with interest. [End of act one.] % Act two. Homer repairs the refrigerator and pushes it back into place, % and Marge and Homer begin kissing and laughing. Bart and Lisa walk in. Lisa: Hey, public display! Bart: Yeah, what's with the love thang? Marge: Let's just say the country air did us good. [A crowd of people, presumably the studio audience, say "Ooooh!" in typical bad TV show fashion.] Homer: Bart, I told you not to leave that TV on. [The crowd lets out a "Whoooooah!".] -- Betcha didn't see that one coming, "Natural Born Kissers" % Later, Bart uses the metal detector in the backyard, while Lisa shovels % dirt into a metal strainer. % After experiencing a short daydream involving pirates burying treasure, % Bart hears the detector beep on a spot on the ground, and Lisa goes to work % digging. Bart: Okay, here's the deal. Crowns and dubloons are mine, snuff boxes and cameas are yours. Now, as for wands and scepters... Lisa: It's a bottle cap. Bart: Jewel-encrusted? -- Bart and Lisa metal detecting, "Natural Born Kissers" % At the nuclear power plant, a whistle blows, indicating the end of the % day for Homer, Lenny, and Carl, who walk out to their cars. Carl: Hey Homer, see you at Moe's? Lenny: He put new electrical tape on the cushions! Homer: Sorry, guys. Marge and I are spending the weekend at a bed 'n' breakfast. Carl: Oh, trying to jump-start the old marriage, huh? Lenny: Can I come? Homer: Nah, it'd just be awkward. What with the sex and all. Carl: Yeah, I always figured Marge'd be a dynamo in the sack, you know? Lenny: Oh, boy, she's got legs from here to ya-yah! -- "Natural Born Kissers" % Marge pulls her car up alongside the three to pick up Homer. % Homer and Marge drive to the "Snuggler's Cove". Now they did say bed breakfast, right? -- Homer, trying to kick-start the old marriage with Marge, "Natural Born Kissers" Marge: Oh, isn't it romantic? Doilies and cozies as far as the eye can see! Homer: If there's anything more exquisite than Queen Ann's lace, I haven't found it! -- "Natural Born Kissers" % Marge lies on the bed and beckons to Homer. % The two seem to have trouble getting in the mood. Marge: Shouldn't we get started? Homer: Um, eh, no time like the present. Marge: Hmm, something's not right. Does this bed feel lumpy to you? Homer: Well yeah, kinda. [looks at churn near bed] Did that butter churn just move? 'Cause if it did... -- Ah, memories, "Natural Born Kissers" % Homer takes off his shirt, and a maid bursts in catching him topless. % The maid drops the towels she was carrying, and the two gasp. Homer % covers his nipples with teacups from a nearby table. Maid: I'm so sorry! I saw everything. [walks out, closes door] Marge: My heart's beating like crazy! Homer: Mine too! Just like back in that hayloft. Marge: You know, the fear of getting caught is kind of a turn-on. Homer: There's that dirty girl I married! Come on. I have a disgusting idea. -- [shudder] "Natural Born Kissers" % Downstairs, Marge and Homer make love behind a curtain near a table, % where other residents put togther a jigsaw puzzle of a donkey. % Marge laughs as we see their silouhettes through the curtain. Back at % home, Bart empties out his last haul from the metal detector onto the TV % room floor, which includes things such as an old pair of glasses and a % license plate. Lisa reads nearby. Bart: Woah! Excellent haul! Lisa: But it's all trash. Bart: Exactly. Now there's nothing left out there but treasure. -- Good point. Bart and Lisa searching for treasure, "Natural Born Kissers" % Marge and Homer return from their vacation, dressed casually, with their % arms around each other and their hands in each other's back jean pockets. Homer: Hello, everybody. Bart: Hey, you're back. [slyly] Did you 'Rock the Casbah'? Homer: Bart!! ...Yes. -- "Natural Born Kissers" Lisa: Do you know you have your hands in each other's pockets? Marge: It's okay when you're in love. [pauses] And married. To the sweetest guy in the world! Homer: Awww! Eskimo kiss! -- "Natural Born Kissers" % The two rub noses, at which Bart and Lisa groan. Bart: You guys are sick. [he and Lisa leave] Marge: You don't think there's anything wrong with what we're doing, do you? Homer: I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong! -- "Natural Born Kissers" % In a dirt parking lot, Bart and Lisa use the metal detector to search % again. Suddenly, the detector screeches loudly. It's a safe box! % The two pull up a small, locked box, which Bart breaks open. A film % reel case is inside. Lisa: Wow! An alternate ending to "Casablanca". Bart, this could be priceless! Bart: Priceless like a mother's love, or the good kind of priceless? -- "Natural Born Kissers" % At the miniature golf course, Marge is about to putt. Homer stands by, % helping her with her timing. % When appropriate, the two run off into the nearby windmill. Marge: [laughs] Oh, this is so naughty. Coming back to our old love-nest. Homer: [fondly] It hasn't changed since that magical evening when I knocked you up. Marge: Oh, we drank so much that night! Homer: Yeah, I thought Bart would be born a dimwit! [laughs] Marge: [laughs uneasily] Yeah... Homer: Well, this time I'm drunk on love... and beer. -- ... what the hell is wrong with him? "Natural Born Kissers" % Back at the Springfield Retirement Castle, Bart, Lisa, and Abraham watch % the old Casablanca reel on a projector. Rick and another guy. The other % guy draws a gun. The pianist pushes his piano into the gunman. Hitler % pops out of the piano, and Ilse crushes him via parachute. Ilse and Rick % marry. Lisa: Unbelievable. Bart: I'll say. Wasn't it great? And the question mark leaves the door open for a sequel. Abe: I've seen that movie ten times. And I never get tired of that ending! -- After seeing the secret ending to Casablanca, "Natural Born Kissers" % It seems another Retirement Castle resident has been watching the film. Crazy Old Man: Aye, ai, ai, where did you get this, you shrunken old hag, you? Lisa: I'm just a little girl. Crazy Old Man: My studio produced Casablanca, all right? We tried to hack that happy ending on the picture 'cause back then, well, studio execs, we were... we were just dopes in suits, not like today. -- They wear jeans now, "Natural Born Kissers" % The old man bribes them to bury it. The old man gives her the money, and % adds "This one too", handing her a reel of "It's A Wonderful Life: % Killing Spree Ending". Back at the miniature golf course, the Flanders % family is gathered around the windmill hole. Ned teaches his wife how to % play the obstacle. Ned: Now, the secret to the windmill hole is to... Maude: Not hit the blades? Ned: Bingo. -- Remember, it was you who married him, "Natural Born Kissers" % Maude putts, sending the ball into the windmill, where Homer and Marge % still sit in the nude. The Flanders walk around to the other side, % expecting the ball to emerge; however, it was stopped by Homer's body. Ned: Hmm, that's odd. Heh, didn't come out the rear end. Maude: Rod, you've got small, girlish hands. Reach in and fish it out. -- "Natural Born Kissers" % Marge and Homer watch Rod's hand searching around the inside of the % windmill in terror. Homer hits it with a brick. Rod: Ow! Daddy, something attacked me! Ned: Oh, now Roddie, it's just a stuffed ball. I'll get it. Skinner: [walking by] Truant ball, eh? I'll help you. Agnes: Oh, quit showing off, Seymour, I'll get it. -- An old fashioned golf ball hunt, "Natural Born Kissers" % The group begins searching for the ball. They find Homer's body, and % start grabbing onto various pieces of flab. Krabappel: [Feeling Homer's flab] Feels like a Hefty Bag full of meat! Marge: [quietly] We're trapped! Homer: Oh, why can't they just play through? -- Homer and Marge stuck in the mini-golf windmill, "Natural Born Kissers" [End of act two.] % Act three. At the golf course, a small crowd has gathered around the % windmill. Ned: Eh, something's in there, all right. Ralph: Maybe it's presents for all of us! Krabappel: Well, it could be anything. Smells like a bear. Moe: Who cares what it is? Let's monoxide it! -- Any excuse, "Natural Born Kissers" % Carbon monoxide from a car exhaust begins to fill the windmill. Oh, why are people always trying to kill me? -- Homer, "Natural Born Kissers" % Homer pushes over the windmill, the blades fly off, severing the head of % Abe Lincoln. In the smoke and confusion, Homer and Marge escape. Ned % sees the clothes the two left behind. It was people! People soiled our green! -- Ned Flanders, "Natural Born Kissers" Maude: And now they're out there somewhere, naked as the day God made them! Wiggum: Boy, I'll tell you, heh. They only come out at night. Or in this case, uh, the daytime. -- "Natural Born Kissers" % Chief Wiggum lets a police dog sniff Homer's underwear. It runs off % whimpering. Eh, it's a shame. He had one day left until retirement! -- Chief Wiggum, on the dog, "Natural Born Kissers" % Sneaking through the streets of Springfield naked, Marge and Homer attempt % to run home. Sneaking by well-placed bus benches, bushes, mailboxes, and % lawn ornaments, they reach the lot of a car salesman. Homer: Gil! Thank God it's you! You gotta help us! Gil: Well, that's what I'm here for, I mean, you're young, successful, you're naked, and you want a car with a radio, right? You kids like music, right, huh? [singing] Da, da, da, da, cha, cha cha, cha cha, cha...wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, don't go, oh, ah, no, not today not to...Gill, I could taste that sale, I was in the zone... -- "Natural Born Kissers" % Homer and Marge ran off to the observation box of a balloon on the lot, % when police cars pull up. % There's only one escape. The two fly off in the balloon. Ah, they stole the balloon! I've been living in there! Well, just, you know, just 'till things pick up. [A hot plate falls from the sky and is smashed on the ground.] Oh, lord, my hot plate. I only had two payments left! -- The ongoing misfortunes of Gil, "Natural Born Kissers" % In the balloon, Homer works the controls. Okay, I think I figured this thing out. You go up and down, but not side to side, or back in time. -- Homer in the hot air balloon, "Natural Born Kissers" % The two fly by a clothesline. They decide they should grab some clothes. % Homer does so, but winds up falling out of the balloon box. He grabs % onto a rope hanging off the side. Homer: I'm okay, honey. Now listen very carefully. I want you to pull on the thing, that's near the other thing. Marge: You mean this thing? -- No, that thing, "Natural Born Kissers" % Marge pulls on the cord, sending a blast of flame onto Homer's head. % Passing over a church made completely of glass, Homer still hangs off the % edge. Now, let us thank the Lord for this magnificent crystal cathedral, which allows us to look out upon His wonderous creation. [The balloon, hanging from which is a very nude Homer with Marge onboard, floats just above the building, dragging Homer across the roof. His skin squeals as his rear slides up the glass.] Now quickly! Gaze down at God's fabulous parquet floor. [Homer continues to slide across the roof very slowly.] Eyes on the floor... still on the floor... always on God's floor. -- A pastor in a glass cathedral, "Natural Born Kissers" % Over Springfield, Homer holds onto the rope. % Marge lowers the balloon towards the ground, but ends up coming onto % a Springfield stadium in the middle of a football game. Dear lord, look at that blimp! He's hanging from a balloon! -- Sideshow Mel, on Homer, "Natural Born Kissers" % Homer floats by the goal posts, and is hit by an attempted field goal. % They soon land in the middle of the field, as the crowd stares and gasps. Homer: Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer! [The crowd begins taking pictures.] Homer: D'oh! Marge: It would have to be camera day... -- Homer and Marge nude in a packed stadium, "Natural Born Kissers" % Back at the Simpson home, Bart and Lisa read about the incident in the % newspaper. Marge grabs it away from them. Lisa: Hey! Marge: I don't want you reading about those awful scandal sheets. Lisa: Uh, I was just trying to find Dave Barry's column. Bart: He's great! He pokes fun at life's little foibles. Marge: Kids, I want to explain about the stadium. You see, sometimes, Moms and Dads get a little accustomed to each other. Homer: Dads especially. Marge: So they need to explore new ways to express their love. Homer: Scary ways. But we never intended it to end like that. With thousands of people staring at our naked bodies. Marge: All those eyes... just leering and leering at us. Homer: Who's in the mood for miniature golf? Marge: Ooh, I am! -- And so the saga continues, "Natural Born Kissers" % The kids cheer and run to the door, where they watch Homer and Marge % drive off without them. Bart: Huh, they're going to feel so silly when they realize they forgot us. [End of act three.] Over the credits, the song "Rock the Casbah" plays. ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {ad} Anthony Dean {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {ctd} ChaiTheDog {dld} Daniel L. Dreibelbis {dsb} Donni Sapphire-Bernstein {hl} Haynes Lee {je} Jordan Eisenberg {ji4} John Isles IV {jk} Joe Klemm {ms} Mike Smith {nmd} Nathan Mulac DeHoff {pg} Patrick Geahan {th} Tony Hill ============================================================================== > Legal Mumbo Jumbo ============================================================================== [5F18] capsule copyright 2000, Hari Michael Wierny. (The quotes remain the property of Fox, and the reproduced articles remain the property of their respective authors. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.) Not to be redistributed in public forum without permission. Thanks to Benjamin Robinson and Frederic Briere for providing me with the a.t.s. archives necessary for completing the capsule to it's fullest.