LEFT IN THE DARK
IS 'STREET THIEF' FOR REAL - OR JUST A CON JOB?
Rating: 
June 21, 2007 -- IS it real or is it "The Blair Witch Project?"
That's the question you'll be asking yourself if you watch the riveting, truly bizarre "Street Thief" on A&E tonight.
The film is by the Bader Brothers - who are an even madder version of the Farrelly brothers, if possible - Chicago filmmakers who make the term "edgy" seem archaic.
The movie purports to be a documentary about the low-life/high-life of thief Kaspar Carr, who's been at it since his grandmother came to visit and stole boxes of candy for him at the local A&P.
It's cinema verité all the way.
The filmmakers say they met Carr through another burglar, Larry Evans, who is in State Penn - the prison not the school - and who is also on-camera a lot.
As the cameras follow Carr staking out stores all over Chi-town, there are fantastic tips from the hyper, thieving bum.
Since I fully intend to become a cat burglar once I hang up my professional assassin's spiked heels, there was much I, personally, learned from this educational film.
Like how it doesn't pay to knock over Nordstrom's because, as Carr helpfully tells us, "they make a ton of cash - right? No. They make a ton of money."
In other words, credit card receipts ain't cash. If a guy's going to earn a living, he's got to follow the dough to bodegas, bars, movie theaters. Cash cows all.
Carr informs us that a busy Mexican supermarket can haul in "80 to 100g in a single weekend."
He also informs us that places run by "Hindus or Muslims or whatever they are" are never flush with cash because the shopkeepers don't leave cash overnight.
Nightclubs are king because they are "all cash. Nasty, wet, liquor-soaked cash!"
And a club is one of the first places we follow Carr into as he knocks over the place after it closes.
We watch him break into place after place but we also watch him in his lonely, miserable apartment, where he realizes out loud that the only women he can ever have any real contact with are hookers and the occasional neighbor.
This crazy, crafty film never reveals whether it is the real thing or - as in the tradition of "Blair Witch" - it's only supposed to look real. Even the credits don't give it up, and neither will I.
I can only tell you this: if it's real, Carr is out of his mind to let them film him. (Then again who can resist the lure of the camera?)
And if it's fake, then Carr deserves an Oscar.
Enough for now, because I need to go knock over a movie theater with my newfound skills.
"Street Thief"
Tonight at 10 on A&E
