Dear Post Man:

I think my boyfriend is trying to sabotage my diet. I keep trying to lose weight but he insists on always going out for huge meals or cooking way too much food for us and it’s never healthy stuff. I‘ve tried talking to him about it but he says I need to relax. Any suggestions?

Yes. Just say NO. When he brings out the lasagne, go and microwave a Lean Cuisine. When you go out for the huge meal, order healthy. But most importantly, tell him to knock it off. Make it very clear that you aren’t going to eat what he is eating, and if you need to make separate meals, so be it. If he can’t meet you halfway, then draw the line. If you live together it will be tough. But hold your ground, and go for it. And make very, very sure that you are not using him as an excuse...

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Seema, a 23-year-old master's student, was initially excited to meet her Meet Market date, Robert, a 25-year-old client services associate, at Midtown's Brasserie 8 1/2. But after more than two hours of him sharing far too much personal informaiton, she left the restaurant with eyes for someone else entirely.

He said:

I got to the restaurant 10 minutes early, and though the staff was very friendly, it was a little intimidating because it was a very corporate atmosphere.

Right off the bat, Seema was cheerful and energetic, and we clicked pretty well as we chatted in the U-shape booth. We talked about family - she's Indian and I'm Nigerian - and the fact that our cultures were so similar. She's also vegetarian, which scored points with me because I like it when someone believes in something yet respects the fact that other people may eat meat, like me.

However, I knew that we didn't have any romantic chemistry. When the photographer came, it was fun to pose with her. But when he tried to get us do more romantic stuff, it was awkward. We were acting like sixth-graders discovering the opposite sex again.

In that light, it wasn't surprising...

PARTICIPATING IN OUR ROUNDTABLE:

Stacy Kravetz, author of The Dating Race

Robert Rosenwein, Ph.D., sociology professor at Lehigh University

Jeff, 29, teacher, New York

Heather, 30, social worker, New York

Diny, 31, student, Massachusetts

Q: Let's face it: Weight is a hot button when it comes to dating. Let's hear what your experiences have been like.

Stacy: There is such a...