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Sucka Free City

The 24 Real Reasons Matt Gonzalez Chose to Run with Ralph Nader

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: March 12, 2008

1. He wants to get out of politics. 2. His experience being vastly outspent and losing will prove invaluable. 3. He needs a bigger Wikipedia entry. 4. Lesson learned: When you see Nader...

Sucka Free City

SF's $12 Cup of Coffee at Blue Bottle Cafe

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: February 20, 2008

Until quite recently, if I had been asked what would have to be in a cup of coffee to warrant a $12 price tag, I'd have answered, "About 10 bucks." And yet earlier this month, there I was at...

Sucka Free City

Numerologist Skot Jonz Picks the Next President

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: February 6, 2008

On Tuesday, Feb. 5, millions of Californians strode to the polls, casting their votes for the candidate whose message and platform encapsulated their own vision of a better tomorrow. Suckers....

Sucka Free City

A San Francisco Public Toilet Costs $326,000

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: January 23, 2008

Mom, apple pie, and public lavatories. Okay, restrooms don't possess the same hold upon Americans as the bonds of motherhood or baked goods — but, really, who goes out on a limb to oppose...

Sucka Free City

Department of Building Inspection Mutinies, Warns Mayor of Building Code Violations

Staffers' Letter Anonymously Asks Mayor For Investigation

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: January 16, 2008

It's not every day that members of a city department send a letter to the mayor stating, in essence, "Investigate us. Audit us. We're doing a horrible job!" And yet, last month, that's just what...

Resolution Guide

The Year of Living in High Resolution

How SF can have the best year ever in '08.

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: January 16, 2008

In the year that saw its mortal coil unwind on Dec. 31, a 900-foot-long ship ploughed into the Bay Bridge, baseball presented Barry Bonds with its home-run crown (of thorns — or, more...

News

Developments in Shaky Town

Have developers killed the possibility of higher seismic standards for new high-rises?

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: December 26, 2007

Structural engineer Patrick Buscovich grabs an oversize metal ruler and stands it upright atop the table like Christopher Columbus planting a flag on the shore of the New World. Then, unlike...

Sucka Free City

AsianWeek story tells readers why they should love black people. Hear that, Kenneth Eng?

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: December 19, 2007

After AsianWeek made national headlines in February by running a column titled "Why I Hate Blacks" from an avowed Asian supremacist, the newspaper threw a changeup earlier this month. Emblazoned...

Books

The Gift of Reading

Still have people to buy for? Consider these books as last-minute stocking stuffers.

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: December 19, 2007

Shortcomings By Adrian Tomine ($19.95) Bay Area comic artist Adrian Tomine collected a fan base over the past 15 years with his Optic Nerve series, first published in zine form, later...

Sucka Free City

Ron Paul supporters mistakenly 'hijack' unsanctioned Republican event

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: December 12, 2007

Those in the YouTube crowd may have seen the clip of supporters of fringe Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul (dubbed "Paultards" by Wonkette) inundating a recent San Francisco Republican...

Sucka Free City

Barry Bonds' new lawyer Allen Ruby was a wrestler

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: December 12, 2007

Amid countless cameras and sign-waving fans with nowhere better to be on a working day, a woman wearing only a leaf of lettuce over her tomatoes handed out Vegan sandwiches at Barry Bonds’ San...

Sucka Free City

15 Ways Gavin Could Have Lost the Election

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: December 5, 2007

15. Actually enforced drug laws 14. Guest-hosted for Rush Limbaugh 13. Pardoned Ed Jew 12. Dissed Liza Minnelli and/or Melissa Etheridge 11. Kicked the homeless out of Golden...

Feature

My Tunes: Kelenna Azubuike

Warrior and music lover

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: December 5, 2007

In his spare time, Kelenna Azubuike has a hobby: He makes beats. "Yeah, I make music just for fun on my computer. I've been doing it for a while and I've gotten pretty good at it," he says with a...

Feature

My Tunes: Orlando Cepeda

Musical Hall of Famer

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: December 5, 2007

Orlando Cepeda is at bat with the bases jammed/Orlando Cepeda with a wham! bam!/He hit a grand slam/In the very first inning/But it’s only the beginning. — Danny Kaye, “The D-O-D-G-E-R-S Song”...

Sucka Free City

Burning Man Arsonist Paul Addis' Backstory -- Murder Threats, Arrests

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: November 14, 2007

With his jovial face smeared in red, black, and silver paint befitting a Power Ranger, Paul Addis posed for one of the all-time great mug shots. After he was charged with prematurely incinerating...

Sucka Free City

BART to Change Its Maps

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: November 7, 2007

Admit it: When a tourist family with more baggage than the Spanish conquistadors lugs its way onto a BART train and proceeds to loudly lament the difficulty of the route map, you've felt a smug...

Sucka Free City

Halloween in the Castro: Where Will Everyone Pee?

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: October 24, 2007

It's the final week before Halloween, so be sure to stock up on dry ice, tiny candies, and, for you Castro residents, a pair of urine-proof galoshes. This year's nonevent in the Castro will...

Sucka Free City

Tricky Treat

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: October 10, 2007

Tricky Treat The city is paying public-relations maven David Perry $40,000 to relay a curt message to the public about Halloween in the Castro this year: Keep out. Of course, that's not...

Sucka Free City

Newsom Snubbed by Democrats

Even without a major opponent, Mayor Gavin Newsom fails to get a Democratic Club's endorsement

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: September 19, 2007

Amazing scenes were witnessed last week on the evening the Sunset Community Democratic Club held its endorsement meeting. First of all, it wasn't foggy (though it was cold). But, more importantly,...

Sucka Free City

Big BART Brother

The transit system's bosses know when you're sleeping, know if you're awake ... or singing Christmas carols

By Joe Eskenazi

Published: September 5, 2007

Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, he'll be watching you — provided you write about it on a blog. And mention BART. The "he" in this...