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Orcs deserve more respect.

They've been given a bad rap for a long time, and I think it's time for this to end.

First Tolkien took a once-terrifying aquatic monster (they're the source of the word "orca") and made armies of them as mere sword-fodder, twisted from fairies; occasionally dangerous in groups or to little foodlings, but they didn't get much respect.

Then D+D came along, and made them 1 hit die, and not usable as a player race. Eventually AD&D had Half-Orcs, but alleged that the human blood was what gave them the ability to rise in levels. Nonsense.

Palladium Fantasy was the first time I saw them given their proper respect; they were just another race, capable of the same advancement as any other race, and quite fun to play.

And then came the humanoid religion articles from Dragon (they were reprinted in one of the Best of Dragons, and of course are on the CDROM); the creation myth of Gruumsh One-Eye is astoundingly good. "The other gods looked to Gruumsh and laughed, 'where will your people live, One-Eye?'" At this point, I had an epiphany, mainly because I was GMing a lot and was feeling sorry for the orcs getting slaughtered in published dungeons... I realized that I was on the side of the Orcs, and they were getting a raw deal.

And finally came Mary Gentle's book _Grunts_. I can't recommend it highly enough. "Yo da marinez!"

Orc Liberation

Orcs shouldn't be victims and losers like so many games ripped off from D+D have them. Orcs may not be smart (though they're not as dumb as they look, and intelligence isn't a huge advantage in their environment...), but they don't deserve to have those damned humans constantly invading their homes, murdering them - man, woman, elder, and child alike - for a few coppers and some experience points, and they shouldn't all be first-level sword-fodder.

Orcs are stronger, tougher, braver, more pragmatic, have better survival skills, and breed faster than those pretty-boy humies, fairies, stunties, and foodlings.

They should be capable of producing heroes as powerful as any other race, and with their attitude, more of them. They won't have many (if any) mages, but religion requires little intellect, just enthusiasm (which they have in abundance), so their priests should be as powerful as anyone else's, too. Obviously, a great many of them should be holy warrior types, combining all of their strengths.

Picture entire armies of Orc paladins sweeping across the plains, glorious and triumphant.

The world truly belongs to the Orc. The pretty races should be cowering in fear behind fortifications, and realize that they're facing extinction.

From Orcish Eyes

Foodlings

Halflings. So named because that's all they are - two-legged happy meals. There's nothing finer than roast foodling with an apple in its mouth.

Humies

Humans. Also "wimps". Admittedly, Humans are more vicious, sadistic, and cruel than Orcs (go read history books if you have any doubt about this), but they mostly turn on themselves. Their hordes are few and far between, and more than 7 in 8 of their race are non-combatants. A very few of them are good at magic, but that's a cowardly, backstabbing, shameful art practiced only by eunuchs (that's why mages wear dresses).

Fairies

Elves. They're like Humans, but frailer and without the almost-admirable Human cussedness. Many of them are wizards, which explains the low birth rate.

Stunties

Dwarves. Possibly the greatest enemy of Orc-kind, as they compete for the same underground environment, and they're almost as tough. Fortunately there are few of them, and they don't practice magic.

Other Orc Fans

ORCS Orc Roleplaying Community Site

VonRammen's analysis of Orcs in Lord of the Rings

Last modified: 2001Jun12
Created