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Chessville
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“I’m too sexy to wear a tie,” said the big man. This reporter ironically notes that his crapulous contemporaries, intoxicated with the games (if not one too many beers), made the pitiful blunder of examining the moves for Kramnik’s success. Wrong, again, you potzers! Rather it was the “Big K Fashion Attack” (a.k.a. The Turin Shroud). Let’s go to the photo report: VK versus Naiditsch
“You’re gonna dance, suit-boy!” said the blue-jeaned giant. And in 33
moves, Naiditsch hung up his Brooks Brothers threads.
Bu Xiangzhi, with fashion-sense and chess defense as solid as the Great
Wall, managed a draw in 43. Who said that Yao Ming was the only
Chinese who “got game”?
Lev “Lover-Boy” Aronian tried to “get stupid” with lumberjack fashion. Big
Vlady knew an Armenian insult when he saw it and body-slammed Romeo in 37.
(See Note 2.)
“Hey, Ivan,” sneered Vlad the Impaler, “See this bicep?” Sokolov, seen
here in peek-a-boo defense mode, agreed to a draw in 18.
“I can wear plain stuff, too,” sniffed Aleksandrov, wiping a tear from his
eye. “Not when you play me, punk!” 1-0 ~ in 18 moves!
Surprisingly, Bacrot negotiated a draw in 34. When asked how he did
it, he said, “I appealed to Kramnik’s fashion sense: I dressed as if for my
own funeral.”
Vasyl “Little Dragon” Ivanchuk took the sporty tact by playing the
“Reverse-colors Game-of-Death-tracksuit gambit”. This seldom-seen
variation paid-off with a draw in 16.
“I’m wearing this golden tie for you, golden boy,” said uncompromising
Kamsky. “Smile when you say that,” replied the big man. Gata
didn’t. A hard fought draw in 50.
“The Red Baron” Bruzon crashed and burned in 32 moves: “I hope it teaches
him a lesson”, said Kramnik. “Don’t wear the shirt if you can’t take
the hurt.” Notes
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