Vaporware Phantom Haunts Us All

Year after year after year, tech companies promise spectacular products that twinkle and shine in demos and press releases, but slowly begin to fade and dim as the promised release dates near.

Welcome to the shadowy, spectral world of vaporware, a product purgatory where goods are promised, but not delivered.

Now in its eighth year, Wired News' annual Vaporware Awards celebrate all the wonderful gewgaws of 2004 that sadly never saw the light of day. And 2004 was a very good year for vaporware. A vintage year, indeed.

Not only were there plenty of vaporous products floating about -- several companies are fast heading for the hallowed halls of vaporware fame.

Companies like Valve, TiVo and 3D Realms Entertainment have been nominated year after year, sometimes for the same elusive product, sometimes for different wares. But one thing doesn't change: These tardy firms continue to over-promise and under-deliver.

Take 3D Realms, the (so-called) publisher of the long-awaited Duke Nukem Forever. After years of waiting, in 2003 we gave the company our Lifetime Achievement Award just to get it off the list.

Nonetheless, readers this year still sent in scads of votes for the AWOL product, so many it might have been the winner. Still, it's worth quoting some amusing barbs.

Readers dubbed the game Duke Nukem (Taking) Forever, Duke Nukem Neverever, Duke Nukem Whenever and Duke Nukem If Ever.

"NASA has planned, designed, developed and successfully landed a rover on Mars in the time this game has been in development," wrote reader Ray O'Neill. "So much for deadlines."

Adam Smith noted the game is a joke even to its own creators, who issued a spoof ship notice in December. "Obviously taunting the fans has become a great source of fun for the boys down at 3D Realms!" he said.

Sean Christmann said, "Duke Nukem is a legend now. It's gotten to the point where even if they do release the game, people might reject it simply to keep the vaporware lore alive."

We sent 3D Realms a note congratulating the firm for qualifying yet again for a Vaporware title, and invited it to submit a short victory speech. We haven't heard back. (We haven't heard from any of the other winners, either).

And so, based on the votes of Wired News' readers, here -- in reverse order -- are the bottom 10 vaporware products of 2004:

10. Alienware's Video Array

Alienware's Video Array is a high-end bit of hardware and software that allows video cards to run in parallel, dramatically boosting performance.

Or so the company says. Alienware promised the technology in Q4 2004. Needless to say, it's still off-planet.

Reader Adam Black said, "So, Alienware bashes Nvidia's SLI (a competing technology), then jumps on the bandwagon, and now their 'amazing' technology is nowhere to be found? I could have sworn Q4 2004 doesn't mean 2005!"

Trevor Fuller said simply: "Completely vapor."