Several years ago my friend mustered up the confidence to tell me about her struggle with lust. Even though she wasn't dating anyone, she was afraid her fixation would eventually seduce her into having premarital sex.
Thinking about her problem made me want to blog about premarital sex, a topic I believe the church often shuns. But why? Christian singles have sex or want to have sex too. And though the Bible prohibits such behavior, that hasn't stopped believers from going too far.
Sadly, some Christian singles behave as if there are no consequences to sex outside of marriage—but there are. Dr. Freda McKissic Bush, a Christian, a board-certified OB-GYN and co-author of Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children, says premarital sex and extramarital affairs can unleash a host of psychological and emotional problems in a person's life.
Dr. Bush says hormones are released in the body that "knit" couples together and "complement the biblical vision of two becoming one flesh." In females, she says, oxytocin is released in the brain when a woman experiences "meaningful touching." And in men, vasopressin is released when a man experiences meaningful touching.
But Dr. Bush says dopamine, the other brain hormone, also "rewards" the body. "The God-given gift of sex is exciting and when the bonding act of love is rewarded with dopamine, we become 'hooked,' even addicted, to this bonding activity with our mate. Within the confines of marriage this is healthy and in accordance with God's intent.
"When an individual begins to search for extramarital opportunities to satisfy their natural desire for a dopamine fix, the consequences include a chemical bond that literally addicts that person to sin."
Are you addicted to sin? My friend was, but she confessed her problem and got counseling. With all the scandals happening in the church today, we can no longer afford to keep quiet about sexual issues. Let's start talking about it now.
This blog was orignally posted in Spiritled Woman e-magazine. For more great articles like this, sign up here.
Psychologists generally agree that as humans we need—not just want—physical touch. Nonsexual touch is extremely important. Even men need to be hugged, kissed and enjoyed physically by their wives. Did you grow up without any of your physical intimacy needs being met? Many people do. If so, you may have a deficit in the area of physical touch, as well as a skewed perception of the value of physical touch.
