For years statistics have shown that Christian marriages are just as likely to end in divorce as non-Christian ones. Adding to the bleak snapshot of the American church is the fact that clergy divorce rates are lock step with their congregations. But pastor Isaac Pitre and his wife, Denisha, (pictured above) who helm Christ Nations Church in Texarkana, Texas, say God wants to restore all marriages-even if couples have already divorced. Charisma recently spoke with the pair, who remarried each other six years after their 2003 divorce. You can hear the entire interview at pitre.charismamag.com.
Charisma: After 10 years of being married, what led to your divorce?
Isaac Pitre: It was basically just not understanding that my ministry was really to be at home and to [Denisha] as much as it was to the church and the world.
Charisma: What caused the two of you to reconcile your relationship?
Isaac: I had to accept personal responsibility for what I did and what I caused, and that it wasn't the devil. It was my own pride and selfishness and neglect of really honoring and loving her. It took me awhile to come to that conclusion, but when I did, I immediately knew that our relationship could come back together. If I helped tear it up, then I could help fix it.
Denisha Pitre: Immediately during the separation I realized that this was not the will of God, so I ... tried to reconcile with Isaac. After a few years of realizing that the relationship was not going to be reconciled, I just started to pray ... for soberness of mind. I continued to pray for myself and that God would just cleanse me and make me whole.
Charisma: What happened next?
Isaac: The night God broke through to me was the same night I picked up the phone. I went after Denisha and told her what the Lord had showed me-that I was wrong and it wasn't her. It wasn't about the ministry. It was my arrogance and my pride, and I wanted her back.
Charisma: Denisha, what were you thinking at that point?
Denisha: When he called, I just didn't trust it because I thought there was a hidden agenda. But the faith that was built through [the previous year's trials] helped me to accept him calling and accept that what he said was true.
Charisma: What happened after you decided that you were going to reconcile?
Isaac: We dated for six months, just to make sure we were really transformed. God had really started working on us, and Denisha wanted to make sure I was this new and improved Isaac, and I wanted to make sure she was the new and improved Denisha. After the end of that, I think another month and a half we were married.
Charisma: What would you tell someone who is currently going through a divorce or is contemplating getting one?
Isaac: First of all, everyone should understand that God hates divorce. Even though God forgives, divorce outside the groundworks of the Bible is wrong. The next thing is to understand that if there is a possibility for reconciliation, meaning the other person is not remarried, instead of asking God for someone else, ask God to fix the marriage you had. If the man is not fixed and the woman is not fixed, no matter who you remarry, you're going to have the same issues.
Charisma: Pastor, do you have any specific advice for husbands? Isaac: Yes I do, and it is simply Ephesians chapter 5, that we are to love our wives as Christ loves the church. First Corinthians 13 says that we can have power to understand mysteries; we can preach with deep revelation, and we can have faith to move mountains, but the Bible says that if we have not love then we are nothing. That became very real to me.
Charisma: And how about you, Denisha-any advice for wives?
Denisha: For all wives, but especially for pastors' wives, you should learn not to be a clone of what you think a pastor's wife should be. I urge women to look inward and discover who they are. Focus on developing that. Everything you need for your spouse is wrapped up in who you really are.
Charisma: How do you now view your experiences?
Denisha: One of the greatest things I see in retrospect is that staying together is really one of the easiest things to do. You simply love each other, be humble and put God first. If you're sincere with who you are in Christ, then you don't have all those flaws and pride that cause separation. To actually stay in the relationship ... is one of the easiest things to do.
Isaac: We give glory to God for our reconciliation ... but instead of saying that God put us back together, we like to say that we allowed God to put us back together. God is trying to fix every marriage in every home, but He's often not allowed to [mend relationships] because people don't yield to Him. He is either trying to put every home back together or He is trying to keep every home from falling apart. It's not a question of what God can and cannot do; it's a question of what God is allowed to do.
