2011: The Year of The Very Smart Takeover

In the 690 posts and 225,000 comments since the first VSB entry (“emotional” cheating. the ultimate oxymoron), we — Panama, Liz, and I — have been asked dozens upon dozens of questions; queries ranging from the silly (“Does The Champ decorate his deez for Halloween?“), the waaaaay too serious (“When are the VSB’s going to tackle the rampant rapes by American soldiers in Afghanistan?”), and the f*cking stupid (“Even though I’ve never actually left a comment on VSB, didn’t bother to attach any writing samples, and didn’t even make the effort to get your names right in this email, can I guest post on VSB next week?“)

But, one question seems to pop up more than any other; a question we never really gave much serious thought to…until now.

“There seems to be a great community of like-minded and intelligent people here. But, I need to know where and how can I find the Very Smart Brothas and Sistas in my city?”

Enter “Very Smart Singles”, the Verysmartbrothas’ answer to that question. Taking a cue from the popularity of My Single Peeps, Very Smart Singles will pull from the thousands of VerySmart and single fans of VSB, showcasing those who choose to participate.

Here’s how it will work. A person (male or female) submits a picture and a short (150-200 word) and witty (well, as witty as you can be) bio to our email address. Included in the bio should be their general location (i.e.: DMV, Greater Atlanta area, etc) and the name they prefer to have on their profile. (For instance, if your name is Kimberly Johnson, you’d be “Kim J”, “K.J.”, or “Kimmers”)

We’ll then post the pic and the bio on the Very Smart Singles page (which is currently under construction). People interested in possibly meeting the Very Smart Single will email us, and we’ll then contact the Very Smart Single, giving them the contact info of whoever expressed interest. From that point, they’re on their own.

Although the page itself is still under construction, we’re currently accepting submissions so that when the page is ready to go, we can hit the ground running. If you’re interested, email a hi-definition picture, a short bio, and your location to contact@verysmartbrothas.com, under the heading “Very Smart Singles”. You’ll hear more about this in the next few weeks, but we hope to have the page up and running in January.

***About “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm at Night”***

After reading some of the comments here and on Twitter about this book, there’s something I felt the need to clear up. Although this looks, smells, and is titled like a relationship book, it’s not really a relationship book. Well, let me put it this way: it’s as much of a “dating and relationship” book as The 40 Year Old Virgin is a “dating and relationship” movie.

The book involves many of the same types of jokes, pop culture references, and asides regularly featured on Very Smart Brothas. And, to be quite honest, we’re just as concerned with people being entertained by and enjoying the book as we are with the relationship aspect of it.

For instance, the book –which is 250 pages long, and well be sold for $14.99 — contains (at least) 50 footnotes. Here’s two of them:

[5] Admittedly, if she’s from Cincinnati, Ohio, this is probably true. Seriously, I’ve been to 40 different states, 4 different countries and 2 different continents, but women from Cincinnati are easily the most sexually forward. Just thinking about the things I saw at Club Ritz and Annie’s a few years ago makes the Bible I keep on my dresser catch fire. Basically, it’s the most underrated place on Earth to have a bachelor party. –T. C.

[7] For those unaware of who is he, Ezekiel “Freekey ZekeyJiles is the least talented member of the Dipset, the most ignant and least talented popular rap clique in New York City — a place which has been producing the least talented rappers in Hip-Hop for (at least) the last 10 years. He’s also business partners with second most untalented member of the Dipset, Jim Jones, a man who also happens to be my personal nemesis (even though he’s probably completely unaware of this fact) –T.C.

Not exactly what you’d find in your typical “relationship” book.

Anyway, between the book, the Very Smart Singles site, and the nationwide VSB day at satellite locations across the country (oops. I don’t think I was supposed to say anything about that yet), there’s going to be a lot going on here in the first part of 2011.  I’d ask you all to bear with us, but we wouldn’t be in the position to do the things we’re planning to do without your ongoing support, so you “bearing with us” is pretty much a given, and I probably would have insulted your collective intelligence if I even asked that question.

Instead, and on behalf of the VSB crew, I’m just going to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday weekend. Be fruitful and multiply and sh*t.

—The Champ

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He got those blues, too

*sung to Muddy Waters’s “Hoochie-Coochie Man” blues standard*

I once knew a man
he aint get a fair shake
he had a simple plan
he just wanted one date
But he always got dissed
passed over and played
so he got really pissed
and starting throwing all types of shade! Ohhhh, he got the blues!
He got those Bitter Man Blues!!!!
Ohhhh, he needs a shoulder and some luck. But everyone just says “Man up”

We all know this man.

He could be your brother, your father, your co-worker, your best friend, or your ex-boyfriend. Sh*t, he might even be you. While his backstory’s beholden to the same sad narrative, his identity’s bound to no specific culture, class, or creed.

Like everyone else, he started off with a completely clean dating and relationship slate. No baggage, no animosity, no propensity for prolonged spells of unprovoked hyper-sensitivity or bitchassness. Even if he wasn’t exactly an optimist, he was confident that he’d find his relationship way, and ultimately convinced of the latent good of mankind.

This man was my dog
this man used to smile
but he saw too much fog
no more sunny smiles for a while
I should have listened
I should have paid attention
I should have let him mention
but now his spirit’s missin’! Ohhhh, he got the blues!
He got those Bitter Man Blues!!!!
Ohhhh, he needs a shoulder and some luck. But everyone just says “Man up”

Then, it happened. [Continue…]

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