Sacred Kama Sutra Orgasms
Tantra (pronounced tahn'trah)
today in the Western world
has come to mean
spiritual sexuality
Indeed, tantra has almost become the generic term
for all styles/traditions of spiritual/meditative sexuality
Tantra
which is part of both
some Hindu and some Buddhist teachings
actually is far more encompassing
than sex done spiritually
Tantra embraces all:
birth, death, pleasure, pain
wealth, poverty, beauty, ugliness
joy, sadness, anger, fear, ecstasy
sex, celibacy
Tantra basically is a teaching of acceptance
a teaching of non-attachment
When we are grasping an object / action / outcome
we are attached
there is no freedom
When we are avoiding an object / action / outcome
we are attached
there is no freedom
It is through the acceptance of all
as it is
that we become/are freeAcceptance
is not submission
is not giving up
Here, acceptance means non-attachment
By embracing the present
while letting go of
expectations of the future and
comparisons with the past
we can fully dance with life
(and death)
There is no good / bad
no right / wrong
no spiritual / evil
only suffering
unless/until we let go of our attachments
Neither being sexual nor being celibate\
is preferable
If we feel superior/inferior because we are / aren't sexual,
we are attached
If we feel superior/inferior because we are / aren't celibate,\
we are attached
If we feel superior/inferior when we do / don't masturbate,
we are attached
If we feel superior / inferior because we do / don't do
heterosexual actions
or homosexual actions
or bisexual actions
we are attached
If we feel superior / inferior because we do / don't
go to church / synagogue / the ashram / etc.
pray / meditate
tithe / donate
or do any other religiously sanctioned action
we are attached
There are other words for superior:
pious, proud, arrogant, egotistic, patronizing, condescending
There are other words for inferior:
guilt, shame, worthless, incompetent, unimportant,
dumb, awkward
It is neither in the doing-ness nor in the non-doing-ness
It is in how we relate to an object / action / outcome
that makes the difference
If we are attached to an object / action / outcome,
sooner or later we will be in
physical / emotional pain / discomfort
when the object is no longer there
or is there when we don't want it there
when the action is too slow, too fast, too...
when the outcome is different than
we had hoped / expected
sooner or later we will be in
what the Buddha termed dukkha
(pronounced doo' kah)
which is loosely translated as suffering
So, do we simply
stop doing the bad behaviors?
start doing the good behaviors?
The answer is not in the stopping or starting
Rather, we shift how we relate
to what we be / do / have
We transform the grasping energy
We transform the avoiding energy
How to transform energy?
To find that answer, those answers
is why some of us search the world
for gurus
or any other form of high priest/ess
That is why some of us spend years
sitting at a master's feet
That is why some of us enter monasteries and convents
When we are able to
transform / convert / transubstantiate / transmute the energy
at will
we are liberated
we are enlightened
we are in nirvana
or in Christian terms
we have entered the Kingdom of God / Queendom of Goddess
There are many paths
to learn ways to transform energy
Sex is one of those paths
Sex is a path to liberation
Sex is a path to enlightenment
Sex is a path to the King / Queendom of God / dess
Sex is not the only path
not the best path for all of us
but definitely a powerful path
Here, though,
sex is usually not the sex
that most of us do most of the time
Here, sex is not
just the contemporary sex characterized earlier
A more accurate concept for sex
intended to transform energy
would be meditative sex
Some would say spiritual sex
Either term is suitable
as long as we do not slip into a belief
that spiritual sex is superior to
flesh sex
base sex
friction sex
passionate sex
raw sex
Meditative sex has its varied forms
Contemporary sex has its varied forms
Sometimes the forms look the same
Sometimes the forms look very different
In many schools of tantra
there are at least four major types of meditative forms:
mantra (mon'trah)
mudra (moo'drah) and asana (ah'sah nah)
pranayama (prah nah yah'mah)
yantra (yawn'trah)
A mantra is a sound or series of sounds
sometimes vocally produced
sometimes silently imagined
sometimes sounds from nature,
from musical instruments,
or other sources
OM is the most noted
Amen is similar in the West
Likewise, The Lord's Prayer is a mantra
Ummmm and oooh could be sexual mantras
A mudra is a body gesture or posture
especially with the hands
An asana is specifically a body posture
In meditations, gestures and postures
are often combined
Jesus is often depicted standing
with his arms, hands, and fingers
in definite positions
The palms placed together while praying
is another mudra
The Buddha sitting cross-legged is common
in the East
Sexual positions can be asanas
Pranayama is conscious breathing in specific patterns
Rapid inhalation and exhalation
through the nostrils
is one of the more well-known Eastern forms
Sports training and singing training
often utilize certain breathing techniques
Sometimes Western sex therapy teaches
that holding our breath
inhibits the orgasm response - so breathe!
A yantra is a visual representation
often using geometric shapes
A yantra can be observed externally
or visualized internally
A mandala is a yantra with a circular motif
Symbols, colors, pictures, all can be yantras
The cross,
with the horizontal bar at different positions,
is common across cultures and across the ages
Botticelli's Birth of Venus is a renaissance yantra
Meditation, often,
simply is doing a mantra, mudra / asana, pranayama,
and / or yantra
At least, this is what meditation looks like
These are the forms we often learn first
Actually,
meditation is the conscious
awareness / attentiveness / mindfulness
while we are doing the meditation forms
Actually,
meditation is the conscious
awareness / attentiveness / mindfulness
during every moment
regardless of the form / non-form
we are doing / not-doing
if we remain consciously aware
So what is meditative sex?
Here is one image, using tantric forms:
sitting cross-legged in coitus
with our sexual partner
while chanting OM
while gazing into our partner's left eye
It's that simple
- unless we have difficulty sitting cross-legged
While this is accurate, it is only the humorous answer
Compared to contemporary sex,
tantric sex is far more ceremonial
There are elaborate methods of
nurturing and stimulating the senses
expressing devotion
honoring the sacredness of sexual union
Such a tantric sex ritual,
sometimes known as maithuna
(pronounced my thu'nah),
is at the other end of the spectrum
than the quickie
Though, in tantric philosophy,
both would be sacred
Maithuna is more intricate
in time, intent, and activity
The forms, however, are not what make
meditative sex meditative
It is the approach:
the awareness
the attentiveness
the mindfulness
These make sex meditative
Being in the present
being aware of sensations of skin touching skin
tuning into the pressure building in our pelvis
or elsewhere
hearing the sound of our breath,
our partner's breath
if we are with another / others
feeling our heart beat
being mindful of the muscular tension building
All these
without the past or the future
And if our mind goes to the past, to the future
we are even aware also
of the past / future images / thoughts
All this is meditative sex
regardless of the forms
regardless of whether we are doing what we term
masturbation, oral sex, anal sex,
genital-genital sex, tantric sex rituals,
or any other form of consensual sex
Some of us have been doing meditative sex all along
at least to some degree
at least some of the time
But to understand meditative sex
is to understand part of the paradigm shift:
we are more
than a physical body
Not more in the sense of
mental, emotional, physical, spiritual aspects
Rather, more in the sense
that the physical body is only one
of several systems
Tantric teachings hold that
there are other
coexisting, interacting systems
that each of us has
in varying degrees of development
Systems is my term
Some other terms are
energies
energy fields
subtle bodies
energy bodies
light bodies
These other systems are subtle
in the sense that the effects in the physical, material world
are not obvious
to most of us
most of the time
The most commonly taught subtle energy system is
the chakras
(pronounced shah'kras)
This is a system of energy centers
often thought of as along an imaginary axis
in the core of our physical body
from the bottom of our pelvis
(commonly called the first chakra)
to the inside top of our head
(commonly called the seventh chakra)
Most schools of meditation teach that
there are seven principal chakras
along the imaginary axis
with secondary chakras
throughout the body,
the number varying in different traditions
A clarification of our language:
chakras are not in the physical body
though a chakra's location can be conveniently identified
by naming an area of our physical body
Chakras, in Sanskrit,
means wheels or discs
they have also been described as
cone-shaped vortexes
More important, though, is their function:
Chakras are often considered
energy transformers
Analogously to the physical body's
digestion process transforming food,
the chakras transform energies
for us to utilize
Tantric meditations in general, usually, are designed
to awaken
to develop
to utilize
the energies and the functions
of the chakras and other subtle energy systems
Likewise, tantric sex rituals,
and most other forms of meditative sex,
are designed to do the same:
to awaken
to develop
to utilize
the energies and the functions
of the chakras and other subtle energy
The conscious
awareness / attentiveness / mindfulness
are, in a sense,
keys to the doors
of these not-so-physical systems
as well as the physical body system
Herein lies a fundamental contrast
to the Western
spirit-higher-than-the-flesh framework:
There is no denial of the physical body
no subjugation
no demeanment
Similarly, the physical body is
neither idealized, glorified, nor idolized
In tantra,
the extent to which the physical body and the subtle energy systems are
attuned
balanced
centered
coordinated
integrated
synchronized
unified
is the extent to which
we can transform energy
is the extent to which
we can fulfill our potential
From the book The Essential Tantra
Copyright © 1992 Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D.
All Rights Reserved, used by permission.
-Kenneth Ray Stubbs